Clarice Michael

Rome, the things I saw and loved.

2010-02-27T20:06:00.013Z

This man chose a rather unique character for his living statue. Normally homeless drunks are not so much fun to look at. Rome started off as one long leisurely stroll through an ancient city, marveling at its wonders, and socialising. It soon turned into sore feet, and a race to squeeze ever thing in on time. Sadly I left with out seeing everything I wanted, but Manuela owes me a lunch so I will have to go back. Besides my guide book says if you through a coin in the Fountana de Trevi the 1st one is so you will come back to Rome, and the second coin grants you a wish. I threw only one so that it will bring me good luck to come back because when you are standing in front of something so beautiful its hard to think of something more to wish for. To get this picture on the left we had to ask some lovely strangers to take it for Manuela and I, as Andrew had not arrived yet. They were obviously social because they took one with us as well, (on the right) and they made such entertaining faces. Although Andrew took the best picture of the fountain when we re-visited it on Monday.

During the leisurely strolling part of our day Manuela and I crossed the Roma Botanical gardens (we think). We were ever so slightly lost. However we did accidentally discover the zoo! During this calm casual stroll I learned about Italian sea horses. Not sea horses like the little fish, but actually horses from the sea, a cool type of mythical ccreature.

I saw the outside of the Colosseum by day and night. Chose not to go in because of its gruesome history, but I did think it was an amazing thing to behold and I can see why it gave the Romans so much clout around town as they say. I also took many photos of the old Roman Form the centre of the Roman empire. I kept thinking
how incredible it was to be standing near what once was the power seat of the entire Roman empire. Also that is was soooo incredibly old.

Of course we toured churches and I took a million photos of angels and other religious art. This church I thought was interesting because the dark black line is a contemporary art design used to highlight the classical architecture. I will post my time with Andrew and the Vatican city in a separate post because I'm sleepy, however I wanted to mention one other amazingly old thing I saw. The Church of Saint Peter and Saint Paul, two of Christ's original 12 apostles.

Rome, an overview!

2010-02-27T16:41:00.003Z

Rome is a stunning place. Part of that could have been the sunny 16 degree weather, part of that could have been my loving and sparkling guide Manuela, and maybe part of that is that Rome is just cool. There are Piazzas every where, with large fountains, some times musicians or artists, and almost always stunning colosal sized churches. The archetecture is varied, fairly religious as expected, and always lovely. There is a delightful mix of mythology, theology, and contemporary culture. All in a moments breath you could be eating the most sensual Gelato walking passed a super model with a Louis Vuitton bag, and Armani sunglasses, in the shade of a looming Basilica. As we all learned Rome is a large city and cercumventing it by foot will take its toll in blisters and leg cramps. Manuella skilfully guided me to all the major tourist attractions such as the Fountana Trevi, and the Colloseum. She led me to places with incredible food, tried to answer my constant berrage of questions as best she could, and did her best to help me learn survival Italian.

Like a perfect host I felt like royalty in her home. I was given her bed, home cooked dinners, and free access to hot showers. We spent her entire weekend off work, walking and talking about important life lessons to learn. From love to religion, we debated, challenged eachother, and shared past experiences. There was a fair share of crying, and also of laughing. There are some people in this world that you fit with instantly, best friends, lovers, family, and Manuela is definatley one of them. We danced our way across parlament square to the music of hippees. We lounged in the sun by the lulling sound of the fountain Trevi, and we walked in silent awh through many chruches in Rome. We got delighfully lost in a large and massive botanical gardens, and accidently found the zoo. I saw the Roman colluseem and learned about the demise of the Roman empire. I herd fabels of the Wolf of Rome, and the children who drank its milk. It was everything you would want from a holiday in Rome with a local Italian guide, EXCEPT it was not long enough. Two days to see Rome is a cruel joke and I felt like I was the butt of that Joke.

So when Andrew arrived (Squeee) we took another day and a half to spend more time in the eternal city. However adding our tour of the Musei di Vaticani, and retracing some of my steps to share with Andrew the major attractions, we two felt rushed, and robbed of our time too quickly. Although I was very happy to have Andrew with me, my emotions let out like a burst ballon. I hadnt realised how much I had been missing him untill he had arrived, and that was taking its toll on my energy. I kinda felt like Roma invloved a lot of crying, although perhaps thats why I felt so attached to it as well. The temptation to stay was there, but largly in part to the sunshine, and Manuela's natural glow of effection.

Over all I enjoyed myself but felt throughly exausted.

Venice!!!!!! I fell in love!

2010-02-18T20:45:00.021Z

Im not sure how I can even begin to describe my experiences today, but I shall try. Venice has always been 1st on my list for cities to visit. I cant even tell you why. I can remember loving the idea of Venice from childhood. I think I got an impression of it some where, maybe the movies such as Queen Margot, the Merchant of Venice, or Casenova. Maybe the Casino in Las Vegas sold me on its enchantment. I just know that some day I was going to come here with my Prince Charming and we were going to take romantic Gondola rides, and long strolls hand in hand.

I was so sure of its romance that I had promised myself I would not come untill I had met my prince and we came together. During one of my counseling sessions last year we discussed why I was waiting to see a city I longed for with all my imaginative power for someone to make that dream come true. I replied that I wouldnt enjoy such a romantic place with out someone to share it with. Then she challenged me to come here by myself and try not to enjoy it, with or with out a Prince. This conversation was one of the many factors that led me to think of taking this trip in the first place. No longer would my life wait for someone to complete it. I was going to live my dreams and if someone came along to compliment me in them then fine, and if not at least I was living not waiting.

So here I am, in Venice the city where I thought I would be half of a pair, and Im alone! I decided for my sake, that I would accept this alteration to my dream and try to enjoy myself, not prove my counselor wrong. I succeeded. I am having a delightful time and have fallen in love with this city, and I think this city with me. It does not erase the homesickness, or the deep and challenging feelings of missing Andrew, but it did provide a nice distraction.

Venice as a place is brilliant, I can see its faults but like NY they only make the city seem more human, and by that mis-understood. Currently there is no smell, although I can imagine in the hot summer there would be. The water is Mermaid green, and looks so clean and fresh the craving to go swimming is almost unbearable. Several times I had to talk myself out of taking my shoes off and padeling on the steps. Unfortunately in the winter a lot of the city is under an inch or two of water. I found Venice to be very dangerous for two reasons, lots of water, and many blind corners. Frequently I would be walking through a Square or Plaza looking up to admire the architecture and suddenly found myself ankle deep in water. Twice I was framing a picture when the ground would drop out from beneath me, and I found myself stumbling down a flight of stairs thinking "oh no, Im so gonna end up in that Canal" Once I caught myself, the second time I threw myself onto a boat tied at the wall to save both myself and Henry a swim.

Mis happs and clumsiness aside, I had a brilliant time. The streets are narrow, more than Barcelona, more than Paris, more narrow than your average door way. Passing people is cosy, and the light is minimal (for this reason I do not think I could live in Venice, but to visit its enticing). However the narrow streets also twist, turn, and rise up and down over the canals. So your visibility is very short at any given point. You do get glimpses of tall Churches, or large structures through gaps, along the canals, or over the roof tops. Its almost like the city is teasing you with a carrot. So you wind your way along the streets, glancing this way and that never sure which way to go, and inevitably choosing at random. At first you try to remember that you chose left so when you come back next time you can choose right, 28 turns later and you aren't sure you can get back let alone remember which way you were hoping to go. Soon you realise its like the Louvre, it doesnt matter which way you go, your going to find something beautiful. Then it becomes a surprise, when you approach a corner you stop thinking "what street is this?, or which way to the ___?" and you start thinking "oh what am I going to find". This game of curiosity and joyful surprise draws you in and pulls at your soul. Soon I found myself running because I was so anxious to see where the next corner would take me. Thats were the hazardous blind corners come in. The streets are busy with people, shoppers, post man, police man (all of which I have run to) and then even worse, some times the streets are no more and a canal is practically underfoot. So I had to stop running.

As you walk along the streets letting the city pull at your fascination, you feel almost guided, and safe. I can remember thinking how much I would love to be lost, only moments before I realised I was. Something that surprised me was that there is not very much to do in Venice other than walk around and admire the architecture. There are 2 or 3 museums, all of them had an entry charge and none of them really appealed to me. They do have a Museum of Natural History, but I'm sure it is small compared to the one in NY. They also had an art Gallery, but I knew that would seem small compared to the Louvre, so I decided to save my money. There are hundreds of churches, and most of the guide books list them under "Sights to See". I did go into many of them, and enjoyed them for their artwork, and masonry. However they were dark somber places in Italy, and a bit depressing. One of them had a que out the door so I went in to investigate what was so exciting. I was gutted to see that it was a que for Confessions. Not just normal confessions, those people were walking strait in, but tragically a que for people who broke their lent according to the sign. 20-25 people all waiting to say "I'm sorry Father, its only Thursday and I caved in to temptation" The worst thing is that they do their penance and then continue with lent as is. I'm not so sure this is the best practice, I think it might make giving into the temptation more tempting cause you can just que for confessions and then all will be well again. Perhaps they should make them give up lent for the rest of this year, or withhold their ashes next year, that might be more persuasive. I also think its sad that people are feeling guilty over cracking under pressure, when we are only human, I bet God knows that and would forgive them for a moment or two of weakness. However religion in Italy seems to be a big deal so I tried to embrace that and visit many of the churches when I passed them. There is also the Doges' Palace of course, but as it was the big main attraction in Venice the entry fee was outrageous and the que of tourist to get in was too long, so I skipped that as well. After consulting my guide book and finding that the only thing left to see were Hotels oddly listed under "Attractions" because of their historical ties to a former wealthy family (I assumed they meant Mafia, although the guide book didn't specifically say so), or because of architectural interest, I decided Venice was a city built for the avid wanderer.

I did adore just strolling around, and admiring the unique layout of the city. Aside from the hazards mentioned earlier, a simple saunter seems to be exactly what the city calls for. You will notice your legs getting sore before your eyes do, because despite the fact that Venice is beyond flat, and almost lower than the sea level at times, there are a ton of stairs to climb. Every bridge that crosses every canal goes up a few steps and then back down a few at the other side. You don't even realize how many you have been climbing until your bum starts to cramp in the middle of one of the bridges, and people laugh because you are hopping about in agony grabbing at your cheeks.

One other slightly disheartening thing about Venice is that it seems to be one tourist shop after another. Don't go for the window shopping or you will get board unless you like key chains! Do NOT try to mark your position in the city or your orientation by that cute little boutique with all the Carnival Masks in the window. There are thousands of them and you will get lost!!! I was beginning to wonder what all the rich Tourist 'do' in Venice, then I met one on the water bus. Sadly they pay 95.00 Euros for a 20 min Gondola ride, then they go shopping for tacky souvenirs, they may stop at a restaurant and pay double the price for a meal because they ordered off the "Tourist Menu" and didn't know to ask for the normal one, or were to shy to demand it if their waiter was being stubborn. Finally to finish off the day they que for over an hour, to pay a huge entry fee to see the 18th century furnishings in the Doges' palace and they think they have seen Venice! "Look I even bought one of those party masks they have for Marti Gras", the woman said to me as I cringed! I'll bet she wasn't here for Carnival, will never plan to go, and maybe didn't even know why they celebrate it, but she had a mask to prove that see had experienced Venice. She had taken a private gondola, water taxis, and the water bus several times, but hadn't been lost once. I was so sad to see that Venice was ok catering to these people, and had lost that old 15th century merchant city to a gigantic tourist trap. All the boutiques had been replaced by souvenir shops, all the commerce had been replaced by price tags in Dollars, and people were falling for it.

On a happier note I took the water bus once and loved the trip. It did cost me 6.50 one way and I couldn't believe that other people were taking them every where! Every other city I have been to was between 1 and 1.6 euros for a single ticket on the metro/tram/bus or whatever. Venice had a 600% mark up on their public transport, and their exchange rates were much worse than main land Italy as well. I spent 2 hours convincing myself to fork up the cash for my water bus trip, but I did enjoy it in the end. I thought of it as a boat cruise down the grand canal and circling the entire city, I tried to ignore all the lengthy stops to let other people on and off my fancy cruise. I took the entire journey, that lasted almost an hour and got some amazing pictures. Apparently your not meant to use it like a cruise because they kept asking me where I wanted off, I just replied "not yet, a little further along."

I think Venice and I got along so well because I let myself be led through the city, I stoped when something was interesting, and wondered for hours not really sure where I was going or what I was seeing. I didn't buy any of those beautiful masks because I haven't experienced a Venetian carnival yet, I didn't eat at any restaurant advertising "Authentic Italian food cooked here", and I didn't spend my life on a boat claiming to have seen the city with out offering sweat, blisters, and cramping bum cheeks in return. I felt that Venice liked me as much as I was enamoured with it because although I was almost always lost when I was tiered I would find a canal near my home that seemed familiar and it would lead me back to my hostel, when I was hungry I would round the corner and a market would appear, and when my water was gone I would stumble across a flowing fountain that had a sign "ok for drinking". Venice seemed to be helping me, and I could not shake the feeling that she was pulling at me as well.

Although nothing like the experience I dreamed Venice would be when I was a child, I found a partnership their just the same. I do feel that it is still a romantic city, and would some day like to be lost in those streets holding someones hand, strolling side by side. If you go and can save up for a Gondola ride they do look like the epitome of luxury, and the canal side restaurants are very romantic. However romance aside, I had an amazing visit, and will absolutely return someday, as I was crying when I left!

I'm now on the train to Rome, the 'eternal city' as Manuela calls it. Lots of love

The Louvre 3 (3 famous peices)

2010-02-18T19:07:00.010Z

Today I am focusing on the famous articals with in the Louvre. To be honest I felt that most of them were a bit of a let down. Maybe their reputation has gotten to big and so the real artical was a bit anticlimatic, or maybe I just dont see the attraction. However this one to the left was my favorite of all the famous atractions.

The Winged Victory is what she is called and Like Venus here (to the right), she has no arms. The Winged Victory is standing in a very suductive way, and also appears rather strong. However she was smaller that I thought she should be. I wanted her to loom and be intimidating, but she just wasnt. I felt that the Venus de Milo was less attractive than I had expected. Her tummy is almost square like a mans, and her face is kinda homely.

And that brings me to the not so beautiful woman who is known for her beauty. On the left we Mona Lisa, a terribly plain girl who's hype is so much bigger than the painting herself. For a comparison look at the lovely golden frames in the gallery pictured on the right (none of them famous or important), then look at the big ugly slab of concrete that the Mona Lisa hangs on.
Hmmm? I just felt that she was anticlimatic. So these 3 although the most famous are my least favorite of the Louvre.

xxx

Vienna Arg!!!!

2010-02-18T14:00:00.001Z

I did not have a good experience with the rail system in and around Vienna or Wien as they seem to call it. My train was from Prague to Vienna and that is where it terminated, (more or less). However in Austria the region is called Wien, its not as big as a state, more like a county, or valley (I think). So the last two hours of my train journey had stops like Wien Nebanflatz, and Wien Houfbanfd. As we were still in the country I gathered these were names like Vienna Village, or Vienna riverside. The difficulty came when we got close to Vienna, the actual Vienna, as in the big city I was going to, the train went underground and started stoping for every subway station. These are all named Wien-something (for example New York-5th Ave, or New York-Broadway). That wasn't a problem but we were still 1 hour from our arrival time, so the question was "were we early or are we going to be stopping and starting at every metro stop from here to the main station for the next hour?"

Again no announcements in English, and I had not seen a conductor or any staff the entire trip. I could have taken the trip for free except that I already had a pass. I consulted my guide book and found out that Vienna has 8 different railway stations, and all incoming trains use the metro lines for easy stops through out the city. So I just held tight, the ticket says Praha to Wien with no further detail as to which rail station, and I know the train terminates in Wien so I decided to wait for the train to stop. We were 20 min late for our arrival when we came out of a tunnel. Once above ground I could see nothing but fields. "Its ok to panic now", I told myself.

I walked along the empty train through 5 carriages, the concern and desperation was getting worse with each one, until finally I found a passenger. I asked if we were still heading toward Vienna, or if we will be heading back at some point. She politely said "oh no that train terminated in Wien, this train is now bound for the south." I was confused by the term "That Train" I am still on "That Train" I haven't moved (I don't think). So what she meant was, that the train I was on stoped, changed its name/number/direction, then started again. I wouldn't say that the train even stopped longer at any one station than any other, I know because I was confused I had been paying attention for almost an hour just to be sure I didn't miss it. They probably told every one to get off at some point, but as I said there were no English announcements. In fact there were no French announcements, or German for that matter. In Prague I was reading plaques in French when there were no English versions, and I had been in Germany long enough to know the words "next stop ______, exit here for _____, and this tram is head in the direction of ______) so even a German announcement would have been something. Its not like I was being complacent, or had fallen asleep. I was trying really hard to listen and to observe. However I was also ignoring all of my screaming instincts that told me to get off the train because I thought that was just me stressing again.

I was obviously having a small internal mental breakdown, because the nice woman had to say "excuse me" to get my attention. Then she delivered the final blow, "I hope your not lost because the next stop is an hour away." I smiled and said thank you, then quietly walked back to my seat to wait. I was ok, a bit numb and in shock but not freaking out. In my wisdom I had planned About 5 hours in Vienna for sight seeing, so 1.5 of that was already gone, I still had time to catch my night train.

I got off at the next station, and saw to my delight a member of the platform staff, who kindly directed me to a train leaving for Vienna in 2 min. The conductor bought my story and did not kick me off the train, but helped me to find the right station for my Night Train to Venice. The sad part was that the train that I took out of Wien for an hour was an express, but the one I was taking back to Wien was not. 3 hours, one train, and two trams later I was in the right place. Having lost 4 hours and 20 min to the Wien rail system, I had 30 min to wait. I did not see any of Vienna, I got a small bite to eat, reserved my seat on the train, and then washed my hands and face in the toilet. It was less than exciting!

The good things about this night train are that I only paid 7.00 Euros this time, instead of the 73.00 I had to pay in Spain, and I have an entire 4 bed cabin to myself! The annoying thing is that the free water is sparkling water, the tap water is not drinkable and the bar only sells big fancy bottles of water for 10.00 Euros. So in my Scottish way I'm choking down the complimentary bottled water cause its free!

I'm off to bed, and I shall awake in Venice. Squeeeee!!! Lots of love, xxx

Eeeeek, Czeck trains

2010-02-18T13:59:00.001Z

Whew! I though I would get kicked off a train today. My global pass gives me free travel on any train in Europe, however some trains require reservations and can often have a seat surcharge that I have to pay for. The night trains are the most expensive but mostly the day trains are between 4-7 euros. However if you want to save money as I do you should take the local or regional trains because you don't have to reserve a specific seat.

The IC (inter city) and R (regional) trains are the cheep ones, EC (euro city) and ICN (international city network) are the ones that make you book a seat. So I have been taking IC trains in France, Spain, Germany, and Switzerland. I climbed on to the train in Prague with out checking at the ticket counter if it was the right train, with out calling the reservation line, and with out asking the platform assistant to check my pass, which I have been doing for every other train in every other city so far. Maybe its the cold thats making me cranky, maybe after 15 trains in 17 days I'm getting lazy, or just maybe I'm actually learning what I came here to learn. To chill out!

I will never be as laid back and relaxed as my older brother, I am still me. Evidence of that is that as soon as the train departed the station I took out my Eurail map to see what country side we would be passing and check the large chart for the country, destination, and train type. Thats when my heart hit the floor, in Czeck the IC trains are the fancy expensive ones cause they don't have high speed any thing, and the reservation free trains are what they call "Distance Locale". So here I am on a train with no reservation to be there, and we are heading into the Czeck mountains, where the stations are often small outdoor platforms with automatic ticket machines and no indoor facilities at all.

I heard the conductor open the door and ask for tickets at the end of my cariage and I started to sweat. However when she approached I simply smiled and she stamped my pass with out even a question. Whew! I made it, Yipeeeee!

Lots of Love,
xxx

Praha

2010-02-18T13:58:00.006Z

Wow, wow, wow. What can I say about Prague but wow. Every one I knew who has been has said "you HAVE to go", but so do all the young guide books under the heading "Looking for a wild Party". I am not a party person, don't like drinking tons, and had no interest in hooking up with other young singles, so for these reasons I had decided to ignore every ones advice and skip Prague. Here is my logic in my priority of places it was low on my list, I knew nothing about it, and it had a reputation as being a great place for a cheep drinking weekend, or quick thrills. Amsterdam also has a party reputation with the younger travelers largely due to the legalized pot, however I also happen to know that Amsterdam has a hugh Dutch art collection, some incredible Delft china, and a lovely canal system. I do not think I will have time to squeeze Amsterdam in so Prague was out of the question.

Best laid plans of Mice and Men eh? I did not have time to fit Greece in between Germany, and Italy so I had 3 days to kill. The trains from Germany to Italy are long, expensive, and I wasn't feeling well so it would benefit me to take smaller journeys, and stop and rest along the way. Thats how Prague and Vienna got into the itinerary.

Prague as a city was nothing like I expected. It was small, compact, easy to walk, filled with historical places, beautiful, and quiet. Check this out.. Its a picture at night. Yes thats right I went out for a night time stroll, the first one of my trip. As my time in Prague was short, and I needed dinner, I actually went out into the dark cold street for a wonder. The street lamps in Prague are much more dim than you would see any where else. At first it can look really seedy, however the main streets are full of people, the shops are open, and the area is buzzing with life so you don't feel unsafe. Within a few moments the dim seedy lights start to look romantic, or old fashioned. Some of them even flicker, but I'm not sure if this is a electricity problem or if its intentional to add atmosphere to the old city.

There was not a lot of english translations around, so using the metro, reading signs, maps, or plaques on buildings was very challenging. They do not use the Euro so I had to exchange some money, and was feeling kind of hassled by that until I discovered how cheep everything was. My hotel room was private, and it was a proper hotel room like you would see if you stayed at a Sheraton, or Hilton. It was the same price as my 4 bed dorm in the dodgy hostel in Paris. Yes I could have stayed in a hostel here for about 4 bucks, but I had budgeted for 14 and thought my own room would be a nice treat. There was a pool, jacuzzi, and gym but you had to pay extra for those and I chose not too. Breakfast was included and it was a full service hot breakfast buffet, all you can eat. I felt a little bad but I did make full advantage of this and stocked up on all the vitamins I have been missing for 2 weeks. I would not normally eat ALL that I could eat in a complimentary buffet however I think it might have helped make the turning point with my cold.

The next morning I took the circle route tram around the city to take pictures then got off on the far side and walked right through the centre to the train station on the opposite side of town. I saw many beautiful places that I would have loved to visit, took tons of pictures of buildings that I have no idea what they were and no time to find out, and I felt a small twinge of regret that I didn't have more time. I never intended to see Prague and never knew that there was so much more to the city than its reputation speaks of. I would like to say for the record its a crime that Praha is known for its night life and not much else. I'm sure the students who poor in for the weekend don't bring a fortune with them to help the struggling economy. However if word got out that this was a place of enchantment, beauty, quality service, unique culture, and historical value then more families or couples would come and that would make a difference to the local economy. Then maybe you were hear me ranting that the streets were full of loud annoying tourists and that none of the churches were peaceful, and as it was the city was certainly quiet this morning. Perhaps all the party students were sleeping off their hangovers.

There is a lovely square in the centre of old town, simply surrounded by churches (5 or 6 different denominations), and full of stalls or carts. It looked a little like the German Christmas market in Edinburgh but this one is year around. They have outdoor food vendors, crafts, and artists painting through out the square. I did see the Castle way up on top of the hill, and took photos from the Charles Bridge but could not get up there in time, and knew it would only be upsetting to get closer and not go in. There are about a 101 different types of religions in this city and the churches are all beautiful, this Jewish synagogue looked like candy and it made me smile.

Now I'm snuggled up on the train to Vienna with more whorl win touring.

Lots of love,
xxxx

The Louvre 2

2010-02-17T08:31:00.006Z

Todays instalment is also kinda wierd. I saw these stained or painted (Im not sure which) glass panes, they made me think of a comic book. The sepia tone/ almost black and white effect seemed way to contemporary for the time it was made. (post Reformation I think, but I didnt right it down so I cant remember the exact year) However the windows are old, but the artistic style seems very new. Also the way the pictures are in panels like a commic book, I just found the whole thing very cool.

There were hundreds of them, and I spent a long time looking at them all, however my camera battery was dying so I only have 3 pictures which is a crime. You can see in the second picture a more traditional religious layout and colouring to it. Although most of the pictures are family Crests and Hearlds. It is almost like a decorated page out of a bible. The last picture is a close up of one square in a larger window pane, to show you the detail and clour.

More on the Louvre to come through out. Lots of Love to every one!

The Train to Praha/Prat/Prag/Praga/Prague

2010-02-17T08:14:00.005Z

Im jumping forward a week to my journey to Prague, I will post Barcelona and Germany intermitenly when I can.

Its very difficult to find, and book train tickets any where in Europe because the names of places change depending on where you are. For example the Spanish call New York "Nuevo York" because they translate the word new. I object to this, a name is a name and just because a country doesn't have that word in their language it doesn't give them the right to change the word. You would never meet someone named Tom and call him Terry all day, even if the word Tom sounded odd, you would attempt to sound out the letters because that is what his name is. I booked the tickets for Prague in english, my reservation printed in German, but the train signs were in Chezk.

However I am having a delightful train journey none the less. I spent several hours at Inga's trying to decide how I was going to get down to Italy. As today is the last day before Lent I am trying to avoid the Carnival for one more day because I cant afford the hostel prices, and every thing is booked solid. So I had a day or two to kill. The best options I was considering were, Berlin, Prague, Dresden, Munich, or Vienna. I only have 4 days and 3 nights so clearly I wasn't going to do them all. After pain staking efforts on the internet I worked out possible sleeping arrangements, and rail trips, and was trying to decide what suited me best when Inga came home.

I put away the research and we had a lovely tea. Then the horrible debate inside my head reared up; Do I go back online and finalise my plans, or do I go to bed and worry about it in the morning? Believe it or not I actually went to bed. I would like to call this moment an "Aric Moment" because I willingly woke up this morning not knowing where I would sleep tonight. Perhaps I am growing accustomed to traveling and beginning to trust my resourcefulness, or maybe I just feel like crap with this head cold, and gave up caring. Wouldn't it be nice if I could give up stress for Lent? I bet Andrew would love that

Neither her nor there the result is the same. I woke up this morning and booked my Hostel for Prague, packed my bag, tidied Inga's room, left my gifts for the house on the table, and headed for my train. I am currently on a train through some of the most dramatic and beautiful country side I have ever seen.

The train is traveling past a river in a deep ravine, twisting and turning under cliffs covered in snow. There are lovely log cabin type homes scattered on the banks of the river, and ice chunks floating past with the current. I have taken several pictures as the views are like something out of a movie. I have the entire 6 seated cabin to myself so I have my shoes off, relaxing, reading, and hanging out with Henry. Its just brilliant.

I have one night it Prague, then I head to Vienna for 10 hours to wonder around, and then finally to Venice as the peace and quiet of Lent settles in.

I hope you all are well. Lots of Love, xx

I made it to Barcelona

2010-02-13T18:31:00.003Z

I had slept like the dead, and Henry was grateful for the double bed because we could spread out and not crush each other so much. I trotted across to the train station feeling bright and ready to chase some Spanish sun. Loe and Behold in the front of the station were the two American lads waving at me. They seemed really happy to see me, and explained their concern that the ticket window only opened 10 min before our train left and they still needed tickets to Barcelona. Then as an after thought they mentioned the great nights sleep and how thankful they were that I could help. I showed them how to make a reservation for a ticket on the automated machines so that when they approached the counter they simply needed them to print a reserved ticket and it speeds things up. They looked at me like I could do magic and were grinning like small children at Disney land.

Of course I had my reservation already buy I also needed a ticket, so I offered to go with them in case they needed translations. When the doors opened a nice young Mexican man (with no French speaking ability) was also waiting for a ticket to Barcelona and he had also been staying overnight in the hotel courtesy of the rail way company. The two Americans recognised him and said he could come up to the counter with us as I spoke French really well. I was mortified that they could even think that, but I guess I wasn't surprised at their idiocy by this point. So I walked up to the nice woman with 3 strays behind me thinking I'm the pride piper of stranded backpackers. Huh, weired, and very cool. I felt good, and kinda a bit it shock. The two bearded ones got their tickets printed no worries, then she printed a ticket for the Mexican and myself. A being the operative word, A as in one, singular ticket with two names on it. We sort of looked at each other and shrugged. She said "you all travel together, no?" Uh yea I guess it was ok for us all to sit together so we took the ticket. She also said that two of us deserved a refund for our reservations because they had to be delayed for a day, so she handed us 12.00. I took it and said thank you and set off for the platform.

I tried to give my nice Mexican seat buddy his 6.00 from the refunded money but he told me to keep it for my translating help. Cool, not only was I the leader of the pack but I made 6 quid from it. I was feeling good. Once on the train the two brothers sat opposite each other so I was forced into sitting next to one of them with the nice Mexican in front of me. I thought to myself, on know I'm going to have to converse with this guy who was so quick to drop me when I was uncool, and then take my help when he discovered I had skills.

Turns out though it wasn't bad. He turned out to be really fascinating and perhaps one of the most philosophical people I will meet on this trip. You can read more about him in my future post on the people of my travels.

As for the train journey it was pleasant. The Pyrenees were not so tall by the cost, however the view of the ocean stretching from the bottom of the cliffs were were gliding along was spectacular. Its a shame I couldn't quiet get a picture. I arrived in Barcelona around noon, and was very glad to be their but also glad that I had that educational detour. And at last I arrived in Barcelona!

The 3:20 train to Barcelona

2010-02-13T18:29:00.001Z

After the 4th hour on my high speed train that was moving slower than the speed I could walk I started to wish for a train robbery. Anything to break the dull boring vibe that was hanging in the air.... Starting from the beginning I got off to a fine start. Nora (see more about her in the soon comming post on the people of my travels) walked me to the metro station and gave me a charming hug goodbye, and then I headed for my 8 hour day on a cross country train! It started alright. The train had a bar, plenty of luggage space and was very respectable. I happen to be sitting next to a business man who was the most boring non-english speaking man I have ever not talked too on a cross country train journey. Our high speed train was bound for Montpellier in about 4 hours time, where I was connecting to a train bound for Barcelona at 3:20. I had started to wonder about these so called high speed trains because after an hour we were still crawling down the tracks slow enough that local children were following us and waving. I simply thought that we were still in Paris suburbs and werent cleared for the high speed part yet. Then an announcement came over the air. "Les Medams e Messiours... wah..wah wah,wa ha Security clearence, wahh wahhh wah.. Merci" I listened for the English announcment and the spanish announcement that usually follows but one never came. Instead there were several gafufes, and hmphms coming from many of the passangers on the train. I only started to worry when we were at hour 3 and the high speed train was still creeping by suburban areas. Where was the French country side, the vineyards, and the high speed part of this expensive train? So I went to the bar to investigate, they didnt speak english. arg!!! I noticed after 3:20 when it had become obvious that I had in fact already missed my connection for the last train leaving for Barcelona that day that a more clear announcement rang out."Les Medams e Missiours attention' si'l vous plait, wha wah whha ah uh wah waa wah wa wa, CINQ hours." Wait just one minuet I though "CINQ" as in 5? 5 hours what? 5 Hours late? 5 Hours more? 5 hours of free drink at the bar? I could hardly think from the profanities that shot out from every mouth on the train but mine. I just sat there with my mouth open thinking, 5 hours of what ever it is obviously isnt good. Maybe it was 5 hours till the world was going to end. The thing is I would never know...So I tried to be 'Zen' as my boyfriend would say and relax. I cant help the powers that be... thats when the train stopped, and all the lights went out. "Les Medams e Missours wah wah hwaa whaa energie' arret wah wahh wah wah apologies, merci" So there wasnt any power to be as it were and the dark train began to get very warm and kinda muggy. Somewhat like the inside of your mouth in the morning. It wasnt pleasent. However we did eventually arrive in Montpellier and only a mere 4.5 hours late.

I calmly an rationally went to the assistance counter with my ticket for barcelona hoping the person would speak enough English to help me find a hotel for the night. Of course a small town in the South of France and she had about 3 words of English. She was very happy, friendly, and had a huge "customers first" smile on her face when she greeted me. I simply handed her my ticket to Barcelona and shrugged. She smiled and said "ah wee, vous.... eh... I mean, you... Missed." Arg!!!! Yes yes I know that my train left with out me 5 hours ago, I am wanting you to help me, I thought. While trying to think of the French to say, I'm stranded, alone, scared, cold, and have no place to sleep tonight, my eyes started to well up with tears. I didnt mean to cry to get my way, but I was very concerned and couldnt help it. She patted me on the top of my hand and said "one moment si'l vous plait" And I felt a little better. She left the counter into a room behind her, only a few moments later she came back with several tickets. My old ones that were no good, a new print out showing what time my train actually arrived in Montpelleir and a new ticket to Pepignan that same evening. She said several sentances in French and I could gleem out a few words that made sense. "Departure' ou Pepignan, (I have to leave for Pepignan) Assistance (get Assistance), hotel Gratuite (a free hotel), billiett pour Barcelona (ticket for Barcelona), ok?" Yea sure it sounded great to me, assuming that the free hotel was free for me because you pay for it, not that pepignan has a free hotel cause that could be dodgy. Just then these two loud American boys standing with another Assistance Representitive were saying in that sort of loud American way "Bar-ce-lo-na" There was an exchange between my helping woman and the man who was talking to these boys then she waved me over to them saying "come come, parlez Anglais"

I arrived just in time to hear the man replying "Yes I know about the city Barcelona, and my english is very good, can I help you?" I waited while they got their tickets arranged and then he explained in perfect english that we were all to take a train to the border town of Pepignan, at the station the Assistance desk will have a paper ticket for one free night at the hotel near by, a free meal, and then our tickets to barcelona for the morning. He spoke in french to the woman helping me, and then turned to the two american boys and said, "as it is very late at night, and this young also American woman is traveling alone, perhaps you three can travel together and get your tickets together so you all arrive safely, eh?" I smiled and said "merci" The boys took there tickets and said "ok, yea sure, thanks." As we were walking away one said to the other "that mans grammer was dreadful I could barely understand what he meant, but I guess we will just get on this train and find out what happens later." I thought about explaining it to them but didnt want to make them feel slow, so instead I went with the typical travelers open, "so where are you from?" As if I couldnt guess. There were in plaid fur lined jackets,brown quarteroy trousers over big yellow boots, tussled mouse brown hair, an Abe lincoln beard on both of them. So I was not supprised when they said "Minnesota." Then one turned to me and said " well look we are gonna go outside for a smoke, and maybe have a drink at the bar before the train, I hope you have luck with your travels and all and enjoy Barcelona ok!" I just smiled, nodded, and said "you too." But I was more surprised than any thing, I think they were blowing me off, maybe they needed some privet time and didnt want to hurt my feelings. But they didnt say "maybe we will catch you later on the train, or bump into you in Barcelona." They just said a goodbye of sorts and that was that.

I spent the next hour pacing the train station crying and fuming at the same time. I have just left Paris, the place where noses are suppose to be so high they can touch the clouds, but the most rude and horrible people I have met so far were Americans. I wanted to hit them, for giving my country a bad name. Any problems I have while traveling, any time someone rolls their eyes at my passport or my accent is cause of Jerks like them. I could totally understand not wanting to be social, or have a girl tag along, especially one as untravelled like me. I could slow them down, or be too clingy, but to just walk away like that after a Rail way Representivtive asked for our safety to travel together was just selfish. Then I started to work myself into a frenzy, was traveling to the border alone on the train un-safe? Or were the nice French people just being helpful cause I had pulled out the water works on accident?

I had been using all my inner strength to stay calm on a 8.5 hour train trip, not to freek out, and it was now all pouring out of me in the form of tears, panic, and anger at those two (dare I say it) Hill BIllies!!!!

The train to Pepignan was fine, I was calmer and now just looking forward to my hotel. Upon arriving at the station though one quick glance around showed that all three counters were closed, lights out and locked up. The information counter, the Assistance counter, and the Ticket counters all had strong depressing metal shudders pulled down over them. After a few seconds the passangers had cleared and there were only 3 people left standing in this building, myself and the two lumberjacks. I could have screamed I was so close to loosing it, but I smiled and nodded at the boys in a greeting then walked back out around on to the platform and towards the end of the train were the machanics were turning off its engines or something. I managed to explain my problem to him in some pigion French and he was happy to take me to the station manager. I was a little sceptical when we started walking along the tracks into a dark seedy part of the station, but trusting his friendly-ness, and my instincts I continued. Then he pointed out this cute little house at the end of the station, just where the track switching lever thing is located. Ahhhh of course he would live in the station house, that makes sense. I was relived that I was actually getting help and not murdered or tied to the rail way lines. Funnily enough there was a que of about 6 people at the Station Masters house, so we were not the only ones stranded. He was very helpful, gave me a note for my ticket in the morning, a voucher for the 3 star hotel across the street, a box with a dinner meal inside, and a toilietrie bag with tiny tooth brushes and all.

I walked back along the scary rail tracks alone to the station to find those two rude morons standing at a closed window of the Information desk looking very tiered and annoyed. It was cold in the Mountains between France and Spain so I couldnt just leave them there all night, with no French. I told them I found someone to help and I would show them. My favorite moment of the day was the look on their two bearded faces when I confidently stepped down on to the tracks and started to walk off into the dark. It was a delightful mix of, "what the @£%*", " Is she dangerous?" "Oh man we really need her help" "She looks harmless", and simply "uhhhhh" I was in heaven. After they decided to trust me and follow me off towards no where I explained that the station master lives in the old rail house still. I could hear the breath of relief come out of them both. Once there they were having troubles explaining the problem and understanding the French comming back at them. I stepped in to help again with pigion French to explain that there situation was like mine, stranded. However it turned out that they had not had a reservation for the Barcelona train. They were hoping to catch it but had not pre-booked a seat. So this takes the liability off the rail company a bit. The boys looked worried but with their big silly beards, when they wrinkled their brow they just looked angry so the Station Master was loosing his patience. I explained that even though they did not have a seat reserved , they were stranded none the less and would have caught another train to Barcelona had their been one. So in the end they got a hotel, and free meal too, Thanks to ME!

They did walk me to the hotel across the way, commenting on how crazy I must be to follow a stranger into the dark like that, I simply replyed that they did the same. Once at the hotel they started right in with the loud English and the poor hotel keeper looked terribly lost. I stepped in with a simple sentence in French "Ecusez moi, reservations danse le Hotel au'jourd hui, pour une personne et pour duex personnes." Then I handed him my voucher, yanked the one out of the boys hands and handed that one over too. "Ahhh! Dacar!" he replied and immediatly grabbed room keys and two little baskets of soap and bathroom gifts. He asked me if the two boys wanted one bed or two, and I answered "duex" for them. After several instructions I took both room keys from him and wished him a good night, before starting toward the stairs. I had to give the boys a head nod and gingle their key at them to get them to follow me though. Once up the stairs in the main hallway I explained that the basket was free for their use, they had two sepperate beds, breakfast was between 7-9, and we had to be back across the street at the station for 8:45. I handed them their room key, as they stood their looking dumbfounded, and smiled a very satisfying grin!

They did say thank you and wondered off to their room. I watched 10 min of Star Wars in French, had a hot shower, and slept well in my private room with a double bed.

Tomorrow the 9:20 train to Barcelona... I hope!

A small walk through Paris

2010-02-11T14:44:00.007Z

I had a short (only 3 hours) walk through Paris today. Most of the day I was traveling by train back from the Loire Vally so I only felt like a wee evening stroll. I ended up having a bit of a Jackle and Hyde type of stroll.

First I went up to the famous Sacre Coure on the top of the bohimian area of france. A district famous for its acceptence, love, joy, and Art. This massive white church on the hill has spectacular views, and is also lovely inside. Sadly they did not allow you to take any photos inside, and like all famous churches in Paris it was more of a tourist place than a holy place. However The walk up was worth it for the views of Paris and seeing all the artist on the steps painting in oils.

My second stop was to the Moulin Rouge. I did not go in, tickets to the girls show are 125.00. Yeah! Way out of my leage. But I did get a rather good tour of the red light district on the way. Ironicaly these two places are about 15 min apart by foot. I found that charming. I waw strolling with a charming girl from Germany who was pointing out all the cool attractions in a young bright bouncy kinda way. I felt old, and a little behind the times when she had to explain the appeal of so many of them too me.

For exapmle the Musee' de Sexual Historie, I wasnt to sure how any one would know the historical origins of sex. "Once apon a time a cave man hit a cave woman on the head with a stick, then he drug limp body her into the bushes. Then there were more little cave men and cave women...." I mean honestly? Apparently the museum is all about the development of sexual artifacts, toys, and the transitions of sexual trends through out the ages. huh?!?! Of course there was also the live sex show attractions. I thought this would be strippers or the like, but oh contrare! It is a show where you can pay to watch two people have sex on the stage live in front of you, for a mere 40.00 quid!!! Not sure why any one would want to watch this but it seems to be popular as there was a que to get tickets. I had to ask in my nieve way how long the show would last because I would be upset it I paid 40.00 and the guy only made it 8 min. Apparently its a full 2 hour show. Man alive that must be one fit couple. I do hope they move around and try different possisions. How dull watching someone in misionary posistion for 2 hours going at it. I dont know maybe Im not enlightened enough. he he he

Untill next time Lots of love to every one.

The Louvre 1 of many

2010-02-11T14:14:00.009Z

The Lourve is far far too big for one post, and I took too many pictures to possibly load up. So I am going to split it into lots of tiny posts through out my trip. As an overal, The Louve is massive, and my feet were very soar after 7 hours of active walking around. I found that the gallerys dispalying the art were often art themselfs in their design and layout. The map is confusing, but the crowds were not bad at all, so go in Feb.

Because it was Mom's birthday this week the picture for the day is an odd one. Not one you would expect to see starting the Louve series! These Chairs are masterfuly upulstered. They are from the appartments of Napeloen B the 1st . The yellow fabric on the back of the chair is all one peice. The swag at the top is made by lots and lots of tiny tucks holding it in place but it is not an additional peice of fabric over the top, its all the same. And it lays so softly. The bottoms of the Chairs have a delecate little skirting adding a bit of grace and grandure to the chair. More than that there was a whole row of Chairs. Squeeee!
And to go with the whole row of lovley Chairs today I think I will throw in a gold, and cut glass Vanity table. Also found in Napolians apartments, it was stunning and lovely but I would be concerned sitting in a Chair with glass legs. However these items caught my eye and made me think of my mom. The one who taught me to sit like a lady, wear makeup like a lady, and appriciate when your being well kept.

Lots of Love to every one.

Time Warp 1 week Back to Blois

2010-02-11T13:47:00.007Z

Ok so I am now offically one week behind on my online journaling and I think its starting to affect my sanity. The first week was so lovely and touristy the second has been lonely and stressfull. So Im taking over and getting back on track. Starting with my lovely tour of the Chataeu in Blois.

Some of the Renisance style masonry was almost cartoonish. The had a lovely little musee' of all the peices that had been removed from the Chataeu but kept for historical value. This was once a drain gutter, or gargoyl if you will. The Chataue was small comparied to other royal palaces but still the size of a large stately home. It was like a summer Chataeu for the Royal Family. Catherin De Medichi died in her bed in this palace. Personaly for me the painted walls and matching bed linen was all a bit too much pattern.

Like all Royal things every detail was perfect, they spared no expence, even thier musical instruments were ornate. I was also personally fasinated by the Kings private study that had secreat cupboards bult in them. Later in the Chateau's history Queen Margot used these cupboards for storing her poisons, and herbs. (why they didnt think she was a witch I dont know)

The Chateau was quiet, the staff very friendly and welcoming. It was entirely open to the public, and often a bit of a confusing maze as a result. I saw several rooms twice because I would get lost or go through the wrong secret stair case and have to back track. However it was nice to get to see every thing the Chateau had to offer. I was supprised how different the Renisance style was from the Reformation period. This Chateau was more mediaval in feel, dark dramatic colours, and heavy woods. By the time the Royal family in France took up residence in Versails the style was light and fresh. Gold, delecate design with pastel colours and the typical French country feel. It was a lovely contrast to see and the development of the French Royal style.

If I sound like an interior decorator that would be my moms fault! he he he :)

Love you and Miss you all.

Im safe in Barcelona

2010-02-09T21:18:00.002Z

No post for today. Its not that I dont have a lot to say about my interesting overnight stay in Perpiniea France, or the philisophical train ride to Barcelona. I would love to post pictures of the Louvre for you, or tell you about the lost day I didnt get to have in Barcelona. However I havent had two min to think, pee, or eat, let alone post any thing. However I am here in my stunningly quiet hostel in Barcelona so dont fret Im safe.

Lots of Love
xxx

Blois day 2 and then back to Paris

2010-02-06T17:41:00.003Z

Sadly today will be picture free as I am in a cafe with out my laptop. Its a shame because I have lots of beautiful shots of the Chateau in Blois. Also worth a note, French keboards are totally backwards!!!!

However I have had a good day so no complaints. I slept peacfully in a double bed, then started off this morning for the Chateau Royal in Blois. Apparently the same one that Catherin De Medichi died in, and Queen Margot use to hide her poisons. The Chateau was older, and more medival in feeling but still full of splendor. The walls were covered in canvas then painted with brilliant patterns and colours. Cool at first but a little dizzying after a while. I will try to post some pictures for you tomorrow.

After the Chateau I made my way to the train station and took a leasurly slow train ride back to Paris. Im in a different hostel as the other one is full for the weekend. The new hostel leaves a lot to be desired, in fact it is one of the dodgy-est places I have ever been. However my new german roommate is very very lovely. She took me on a tour of the Sacre Cur, Monmart, and past the Moulin Rouge. We are cooking together and generaly it was nice to follow someones lead for a wee moment of peace. I didnt have to worry about the directions, what to cook for diner, or any thing. So it kinda felt like a day off.

However tomorrow is a different story, tomorrow I finish my Paris tour with the entire Louve in 1 day!!!!! Dun Dun Dunnnnnnnn! Im sure my feet will be soar, but it will be worth it. I am missing every one and send my Love and good wishes.

Blois (prunounced like Blwa)

2010-02-05T21:17:00.007Z

WOW! Today may be a short post cause I didn really do much but wonder around but by far its my favorite!!!!! This tiny little town is every thing I was looking for when I came to see the world. Its a new experience, unique, friendly, historical, charming, inviting, breathtaking, oh wow I just cant describe it to justice. So the tiny town is about 15 min from one side to the other (If and only IF you dont get lost). I was given a map by the lovely man at the hotel with 3 english words but I didnt feel the need to use it once. Today I felt safe and was happy to be lost. First Im the only one in the hotel, so my breakfast will be brought to my room so they dont have to open or clean the dining room, and second I got a room upgrade free of charge! Squeee. The locals here are much more friendly and welcome the chance to learn english. However so far I have heard about 4 english words and I have spoken to about 6 people. But they gesticulate like the Italians and smile so so big that you dont feel guilty at all for not understanding them. In Paris I always spoke english with a bit of an apology behind it, here they love it. They are also much more willing to help you learn french, but Im not sure the phrase I was taught was right, however niether here nor there.

The streets are less wide than ally ways, and they do like to twist and turn. They also love to go up hills and then down them again. No joke, we arent talking hills like Edinburgh, or San Fran. But rather they couldnt be bothered to move that mound of dirt, so the road goes up 4 feet, then down 4 feet. Its not speed mesures either because they are all different shapes and sizes, unmarked, and the pavements follow the same pattern. This happens all over the place. The buildings do it to. The buildings are wooden tudor, and ever so slighty squint or kattywhampus. The churches are freezing cold and massive. Also very old. This one on the left is from the 11 hundreds. The weather was nice so I just wondered. Every time I saw a cool street I would turn down it. I continued this way for almost 3 hours. Stoping to see what was cool, and walking slightly ahead of myself becuase my curiosity was stronger than my patience or lethargy.

I also decided to indulge myself and I bought a chocolate eclaire. I sat in a park eating my ecliare, pausing in between bites to giggle cause it was soooo good I felt slightly naughty for having one, and gazing out over this river that has no name as far as I could find.

Through out this trip I have been troubled by several things that I cant shake; time to fit every thing in, remembering to relax, getting lost and thereby frightened, worried about cash flow and spending allowences, my inability to comunicate effectivly or express myself in a lanuadge they understand. Today I felt none of that. I gave myself the day off from sight seeing so I didnt worry about my time. I wondered not wanting to look at a map but actually enjoying not knowing where I was going. I took 3 hours to stroll, meandor, and take deep breaths so I am much more relaxed and hopefully with sleep as a result. I spent money on a totally endulgent eclaire and didnt pause for a second about weather or not I REALLY wanted one or weather I would have wished I saved the money later. And finally I wasnt afraid to say I dont understand, or gesture wildly like a mime on drugs cause the people were so friendly.

I am going up to the Grand Chateau tomorrow, and then Im gonna try and take some time to find out why Blois has been so successful. I hope I can re-create it cause this is what a trip around the world should be.

My very own Versailles

2010-02-04T18:43:00.008Z

Well its a love hate relationship. For some people versailles was a palace for some a prison, for others it meant their starvation, and for the rich their sanctuary, currently its a place where people walk around in awe. Well I think I experienced all these aspects of the palace today and the gambit of emotions that go with them. It was beautiful, opulent, perhaps exesive just like one would expect. The grandure of gold, and ornate decoration was like non other that I have ever seen. But I was sadend to realise that even I couldnt live there with out feeling like it was excessive. I felt guilty for the starving beggars still at its gates today as I paid 15 euros just to see all the gold, and yet felt too poor to offer them a penny. So I cant imagine how terrible I would feel if it were my home. Basically I became maniacally depressed to discover that should the French government offer me a residence in the grand palace I would feel obligated to turn it down. This realisation was earth shattering. It totally conflicts with my princess complex.

The second thing I did not like were all the rules and regulations, you may not see this room, you must go through that one, You may only wonder around this room in a clockwise direction, and that one is circulated counterclockwise. I felt angry at the palace and the staff for their pretentious cattle herding. I understand that in the summer it may be so busy that these measures are nessicary, but today they just felt cruel. I kept thinking to myself "who do they think they are?" Then a small voice in my head answered, "Versailles", and therefore they have the right. I guess that is why the palace was built in the first place, it was made to think that its word was law. Every thing about the palace history was made with the thought "I will be cause I can", so I had to forgive the palace for its absurdity, because it didnt know any other way to be. As for the staff, maybe working in such a regal place goes to your head after a while. Therfore I was amazed, then guilted, then imprissioned, then accepting all in the 1st 5 minuets of being there. What did I learn about home today? If you want something decorated, hire the French. There is a point when to much luxury becomes a prison. And santuary for me is relational to light, and noise volume!

Now that the spiritual stuff is over I have to say Versailles was so unbelivably like a dream come true, and it would be perfect if even the beggers could have lived there, god knows there is enough room.

The bed chambers are stunning, and pretentious. Mom I took pictures of the fabric wall paper and gold embrodery trim just for you. The gaurd in the corner was giving me the strangest look, then he said "you missed the painting AND the fireplace." The ceilings are all painted and its magnificent. I have such a sore neck from walking around looking up.

The hall of mirrors is far cooler than most people realise. At first glance it looks like a lot of crystal and light bouncing around. One wall is floor to ceiling windows, the other all mirrored panels. In the middle hundreds of chandeliers dripping with crystal. the effect is magical. But what I found magical was that the mirrors were doors and when I asked what was behind the doors the guide reacted very supprised and told me I had already seen the rooms on the tour, but not many people realise the mirrors actually open. After carefull thought and a good look at the map I realised it was the King and Queens bedrooms and anti chambers. So in the morning they could wake up to this view.

The sad part was that so much of it is closed in the off season. So I did not get to see the opera/ballet house, or the grand chappel. I was gutted!!!! Much of the gardens were closed for planting too, so I was depressed, but what I saw took my breath away, and my feet are very soar so I dont think I could have walked more if there was more to have walked. I liked the gardens almost more than the palace not that I was suprised by this. They were practiacally empty and very peicefull. Some of the bast landscaping and water features I have ever seen. I took more pictures in the first 4 hours at the palace than I have in all of Paris. My battery was fully charged and ready for the day and it died after 4 hours of constant use. So I will have to share the rest with you at some point, these are just a taster.

Overall I had an amazing day, peacfull at moments and in other moments a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. Although I felt kinda sad when leaving because I have been waiting my whole life to see that place and now I had. My dream had come true and then I was leaving and may never see it again. I am not sure what to do with the knolledge that I have realised my dream, now what?

Lots of Love

2010-02-03T20:42:00.002Z

I just wanted to say thanks for religiously leaving me comments. It totally helps me feel like Im not alon but rather sharing this trip with the whole family. However I know your busy so if you miss one artical, or dont have anything to say dont feel bad. Im doing ok. I miss you of course, and its nice to hear from you. Also if the pictures are making it too slow just tell me and I can leave them out. I just hate books with out pictures myself. he he he. I love you all very much.

xxxx

Paris Day two

2010-02-03T16:49:00.011Z

Today was really cool, and only a few minor mishaps. I started by giving in to the metro today mostly because I was going several miles away and I had a headach. I was riding down to the Arch de triomphe at the start of the Chambs elysees. I noticed something cool while on the train, there are parts of me that are distinctly New York and those parts are tough, confident, and they dont take crap from any one. Every one in the hostel seems frightened of the metro and its one of the only places I found so far that I actually relax. I am not afraid to try my french to say "Hold the doors", or to sit right next to someone. Although unlike in NY the French get very concerened when you sit in their personal space. I just remember thinking "Im a New Yorker and I will catch that train, and then sit if I want to, cause we New Yorkers know how its meant to be done." I wish I was a New Yorker in every thing I did, I would be such a bad ass then.

Another thing I have noticed is that there does not seem to be many folk with headphones here, shocking but true I have seen two people listening to music in 3 days. So when I start having a wee boogie to myself on the platform suddenly people give you a 100m clearence. They all looked at me like I was crazy or even dangerous. I thought it was a bit funny, but it didnt bother me in the slightest. This also struck me as odd cause I usually care a lot about what people think. So now I know, traveling by metro and dancing on platforms are two things I do with out fear, wierd huh?

Well I finally arrived by train to the Top of the Champs Elysees and the Arch. The Arch de triomphe is definately a ominous but yet graceful type of monument. It is made of a stunning white stone and the masonry work is incredible. They also have a tomb for the unknown soldier were a little flame is kept lit above it. Very tasteful.

The Champs Elysees is much like Hollywood Bullivard. Expensive, wide, glitzy, and full of itself. I past the windows of high paris fashion, diamond, crystal, overpriced sunglasses, leather, and shoes. The look on the street was either "I shop here," or "I would give anything to shop here." The Well Ta Do didnt sneer at my jeans and old boots, they didnt see me, as if I wasnt even there at all. I felt the need to break the mold, anti-conform as it were. So I did the only thing I could. I clicked my MP3 player to the punked out version of "Oh Champs Elysees" and started to skip. I had a great skip down the pavement, but eventually had to stop and have a laugh because it was as if the entire street froze with their mouths gapping wide and their jaws on the floor. I dont even get that kind of reaction on princess street.

On my way to the Rodin Musee, I accidently stumbled past the Le Musse de armoury. It was this really cool old building full of suits of armor, cannons, and all things to do with the army. I skimmed through most of the rooms but found two really cool things. One was a room with hundreds of flags that the French had captured from various battles. Including french crusaders, flags of pirates, and during the French/British wars over the colonies. There were ornate ones from the East, tatty ones from ships and plane old boring ones too. The point is that the French kept them all. The second place I absolutely loved was the church. It use to be law that the king could not worship with his subjects because he was above them and therefore closer to God. So in the 1600's the General of War asked for this architect to build a church were his solders can worship with the king they die to protect. The architect built two sperate entrances and buildings joined by an ornate glass wall. Next to this glass wall was the alter so the King could sit on one building and the army in the other and mass could be said to both of them at the same time. The church was unbelievably stunning and ornate, I think the time period lent itself to a high formal catholic design sparing no pennies on the gold accents. I sat down on a large padded leather pew and wrote in my journal for a bit. It was so warm and quiet. After almost an hour of resting I had to pry myself way. I think the thing I was most pleased with was that I was the only one there for the entire hour. Just myself, heating, a seat, gold decorations, carved stone, chandallers, and lovely harp music. It was extremely relaxing. I was also very proud because I was determined to read about the unique church divided by a large glass wall splitting the alter in two, so I focused and found a fair bit of my French comming back to me.

To add to the enjoyment I then went across the street to see the garden of the Mussee de Rodin. I had a picnic lunch in the garden under the Thinker, and strolled pleasantly around beautiful statues. Even Henry enjoyed himself.

I passed the Ecole de Millitaire on my way to the Eiffel tower. The tower itself is tall and impressive but I did not opt to climb to the top and see the towering views. Mostly I wondered around the base trying to avoid the men selling key chains rather persistantly.

All in all Im having a good day. Pleasent sight seeing, fairly relaxing, and I finished it with a chat to Andrew so that makes this day in Paris the best yet. What I have learned about home is that it can change who you are, or how you behave on a metro, and it is a place associated with safety or whats familliliar, also heating plays a large part in my life.

Tomorrow Versaille... SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

Missing you all desperately, I love you.
xxxxx

My spelling

2010-02-02T20:59:00.001Z

Im so sorry for all of the spelling on my posts while I travel. Google the smart little thing that it is knows Im in France. So all of my buttons are in French, my search engines are comming up entirely french, and the spell check is hylighting every single word and trying to offer me french options. So I have given up and they are all being posted "As Is".

I know its terrible but bear with me.

xxx

Paris a much better afternoon.

2010-02-02T20:27:00.007Z

I finally made it to the touristy bits of Paris and I was feeling much better. Lovely historical buildings, up market shops, and clean public toilets. I headed for Notre Dame first. So here is a little quiz... Which on is Notre Dame?

EXACTLY!!! Its Impossible to tell. So Why did I walk for nearly 8 miles in the rain then had to que to see the inside of a church that was busier than Jenners department store on the first day of January sales, when there were two other stunning churches just around the corner? Im not sure why Notre Dame is famous but it wasnt worth it. The towers dont seem that tall, the inside is far to busy to be peacful or feel like a church. Also the vending machine at the door that turns your penny into a copper suviner totally kills the vibe. However I did see some pretty windows. Then this loud booming voice of God comes over the tanoid and says "SHHHHHHHH! Silence Sill Vous Plait, Be Quiet Please." Much to my horrified suprise it then felt like a church, I did feel like it was a bit sad to have to ask and I was supprised that it made such a difference.

After leaving Notre Dame, I walked along the Sienne. It was cold but very peacfull. I had a wee dance on the shore then wondered through two other stunning churches in the neigborhood. I love the way they paint the walls in churches here, I thought that was just an Italian thing. One of them even had a massive floor heater under a seat in a chappel. So I took some time to pay my respects and warm up a bit. I meandored throught the hisotrical district falling in love with all the iron work balconys on the bulidings, and eventually to the Louve and the Jardin of tullips (non of which are in bloom yet). I did not go in yet, that is on Sunday, but I actually have to admit the entrance is impressive.

So I finally felt like I found the Paris I was expecting. The people arent rude and the nice parts do seem wonderfully historic. My bigest frustration other than map reading, wine drinking, is that I cant read any of the plaques or informational boards found around the city. I feel like Im missing a lot of hisotrical detail not reading French. However the stories I make up in my head are often cool too. Stay tuned for more tomorrow, as for now Im heading to bed!
Love to you all, xxxxx

Paris my first morning

2010-02-02T20:03:00.003Z

Well the day started off all wrong. I got lost, wondered around for two hours and realized that paris is very expansive. It started to rain, I was under dressed and growing hungry. Determaned to walk and not give in to the metro I saw some interesting parts of town. I didnt know that I was in the dodgy bit untill I found the not so dodgy parts of Paris. It was not unlike Canal street in NY, lots of cheep stores and sidwalk stalls selling things for pennys. There is a strange past time of some men who hang around the entrances to the metro station and shout things to the women going in or comming out. They seem like questions by their gestures and intonation but the women walk past them as if they were ghosts. So I stare past them too and wonder what it is they are asking, or wanting? Also I discovered that I must have an international face that says "I am a Sucker" because I got stoped by a guy on the pavment with a clip board. When I explained that I didnt speak French he tried his hardest in pigion english to get me to sign up a monthly payment to save the children. Are you kidding me? I dont even live here, I couldnt belive that he was still trying, and I couldnt belive that I was still listening to him, because I couldnt remember how to say no thank you.

I was growing even more discruntled with Paris, increasingly wet in the rain and very hungry so I started to look for a cafe with Wifi were I could sit, dry off and maybe catch up with people. That alone took an hour, Wifi is not very prolific in the dodgy neighborhoods. So I enter this lovely little cafe and there are a thousand free tables but the waitress sits me down next to two guys who were sitting at a booth for 4. Eh? I was mortified joining there table soaking wet, and with a bag full of things. However they seemed nice, they greated me in english, moved the bread basket over to me, and poored me a glass of wine from their bottle. Oh Joy! So I was a bit confused are we sharing a bill? However I was polite and accepted the bread to wash down the vile taste of the wine I now felt obligated to drink. The waitor then brought me my own bread and wine. So I guess we have our own check but what do I do with all this wine? Well when in Rome...So I used my bottle of wine to top up both of their glasses, right to the top! I had forgoten more French than I had wanted to admit, the only 3 or 4 things I could read on the menue were 16 Euros. So I took a plunge and ordered the mystery dish that was 8 Euros. Turns out it was large flat bread with 3 types of dried raw meat, melted blue cheese, and fete cheese sprinkled on top. So I was in hell. I was litteraly dripping wet, sitting next to two very friendly French men drinking wine, and eating raw smelly food. Neither here nor there I survived. They were very helpful in translating to the waiting staff for me, and helping me get the bill.

So I left determaned to have a better day from there on out.

My first young persons Hostel

2010-02-02T19:51:00.002Z

Arriving at my hostel I was horrified to find a loby covered in Chilli ferry lights and a foozball table in the middle. There were lots of younger folk milling around and most of them had strange hair cuts. Although one man looked like he had never had a hair cut in his life, or a brush for that matter. I specificaly booked a tiny hostel in the middle of no where cause it said it was peacefull, quiet, has a very very early curfew, and the little old lady who ran it would never shut up about Paris history. What were all these crazy bohimiens doing in my peacfull new home? Never mind, after an agonizing climb up 6 floors I found my little rickety and slightly dusty door at the back corner. In the room were two of Korea's most silent people. Bliss! They are very tidy, extremely shy, and bow at me constantly. So I can ignore the crazy lobby and head straite for my silent, sterilized room, where I can pretend that they think Im royalty. Sadly I have not run into the crazy lady yet but so far the hostel will do. A totally French breakfast is included (pastries, crossants, fruit, and lots and lots of Nutella) so I was a happy camper this morning. Very late in the middle of the night a Brazillian from San Paulo arrived. Gabriela and I talked alot about Brazil over breakfast and she is rather lovely. Also a worried traveler, terribly homesick, and about my age so we are getting along and she ofsets any errie silences from the two Koreans so over all Home is nice. Henry is traveling with me and approves of the top bunk as he says "its cool", I am surrviving it.
xxx

The Train to Paris

2010-02-01T15:14:00.006Z

Ok the beginning of my epic adventure was not nearly as cool as I would have hoped. I have such a fascination with Fairy Tales that I thought my travels would begin with curiosity, or a sense that something great was about to happen. Not with the picture of reality that was myself clinging to Andrew, and vocally bawling like a child. I was shaking from the knees down not unlike my childhood dog CookiesandCream when she really really needed out to pee, or was freezing cold. Riddled with fear of the unknown and the horrors of my imagination I began to beg. I pleaded to stay, to have Andrew come with me, I professed my fear, several profanities, all before I started to barter things I knew would be tempting to others in exchange for a way out of this trip. There is an odd sort of selfishness that comforts you when you give up preconceived notions of acceptable adult behavior and allow yourself to make a scene at the train station. First of all you may not get exactly what you want but you do get a whole bunch of attention, that should keep your energy levels up. That and there was a sense of release and careless abandon in my behavior that ironically mirrored some of the character aspects I am hoping to develop on my journey. So in retrospect I am mortified at my spineless actions this morning but learning to be a little more selfish is not nesisarily a bad thing on my part. Whats done is done, and we are moving forward.

First of all I would like to say a big Thank You to my love Andrew for supporting my legless crying, helping me on to the train so that I could move forward with my travels, and especially finding my seat so that I was facing forward cause this train is making me nautious as it is, I cant even imagine if I was going the wrong way. To all my fans out there in the world take note that the bacon roll may be the Scots breakfast of choice but its never good when combined with adreneline caused by fear, a high speed train, and attempts to read.

So I find myself on the train to Paris, due to terminate in an entirely different country, one that doesn't speak my languadge, where I should be in time for tea. I have been reading, sleeping and trying to remember why I decided to put myself through this. I will try to re-cap for those of you who never knew why, or for those of you who may have forgotten the reasons for my resolve after this morning It all started when I watched the movie Stardust on the big screen and thought once again "I wish I was in love like that!" I have this type of thought rather frequently as I mentioned earlier I have a bit of a thing for fairy tales and true love. So I began to think about all my favorite stories and what were the elements they had in common, travel, frightining or occasionally near death experiences, transformation, and a redefinition of what home is. I have always been a bit of a scaredy cat so the realization that blissful success would only come to those whom faced some fears, grew as a person, and redefined the very place that is the safest and most familiar was exteremly depressing. However as I am 27 and tiered of letting my fears dictate where and how I shall live so I decided to go Backpacking. It was the most terrifying thing I could think of that will ensure growth and some courage on my part. There is so much more to my desision than just my fears, but that seems to be the one rearing up today so its the one that got the press time. Stay tuned with this blog and you may see other themes develop later.

So here I am ready to go. Getting ready was an adventure in itself. Packing enough for 6 weeks, and remaining mobile takes a special kind of skill. I wanted to be surrounded by items (or for the sake of the story, weapons of power) that would help me fight my way through this emotional transformation. I have lucky tallismans, books for inspiration, and journals to record my epic path. I wanted to bring a copy of Alice and Wonderland with me as it is my all time favorite book, and one about a young girl having a rather unusual exploration herself. However on sale there was also Ann of Green Gables another strong willed young woman comming of age. If you bought 2 books the 3rd was free so I grabbed a copy of Aesops Fables as well. With a novel of tips and tricks for traveling gifted to me by my older brother and the family whom are vastly experienced in the art of travel. After adding Arestotol poetry, Lonely planets guide to Europe and a few other books for fluff I found my little day bag is actually heavier than my large backpack full of clothes. I even had to take out some pajamas, and my favorite pair of black and white 1940's heels so I had room for all the books. I did pause for a moment bemused that, I, of all people were sacrificing room for books, something must be different already, cause I hate reading. More strength from the women in my life came along in the form of my bookmark made by my sister who traveled right along side my brother, and never once made an embaressing display of her fears in the train station. I have a little pillow sachet from my GrandMary that tells me dreams do come true. A bag full of photos of my family and moms mint tea bags cause the smell reminds me of home. I have the little rainbow coloured ribbon of one of my brothers traveling bags, a stunning bracelet in blue made with secrete powers from Camelot by my wee nephew Avery. My music player is full of my fathers jazz. From Andrew I constantly wear my Thistle necklace with a secret sapphire in it, and now a small silver celtic knot work ring to keep Scotland with me no matter where I am. Then of course I have Henry, the ever loyal and fearless Henry. He will be by my side through the entire trip and has enough excitement to fill a world cup stadium so I'm glad for his love and friendship.

Well I think I am as ready as I could have been, the rest is going to have to be a surprise. Thank you so much to all those who helped support me to get me here. I'm on the train to Paris, and so the journey begins. I love you, xxxx

Beginings

2010-01-23T20:13:00.001Z

ok here is a test of my new blog software. I hate that it spell checks me as I type I really hope it lets me get rid of that. ok lets test this.

Why Im going to travel Europe

2009-03-05T22:17:00.012Z

So the drama queen in me was feeling the need to re-claim her stage. This post is all about me!!!!

Why have I decided to go traveling? Many many reasons, some of which I will try to explain, but I'm sure the last of which will seem the most crazy and yet is probably the most responsible for my decision.

1) I was sitting describing to my councilor one day all the lovely places I dream of seeing at some point in my life. She asked why not now? I replied that I didn't have any one to go with and I didn't see any point in going alone. Bridie asked me what someone else has to do with me seeing the world, and I explained that sharing a sunset is always better than seeing one alone. She didn't buy it, and wanted me to describe why a sunset is less valuable, colourful, or breathtaking alone that with someone there beside me. I couldn't really answer, I have always had people around me to share in my every experience and when they weren't there I came home and re-enacted the whole thing for them any way. I guess I just prefer to share things but sharing an experience or not, shouldn't change the quality of the experience had in the first place.

My silence prompted her to ask some other important questions; "Do you have any children? A mortgage? A successful and full time career? Huge financial obligations? Any disability's? A long term lease? Huge amounts of property? Any legal obligations?" I sat silenced with a perplexed look on my face so she continued; "Do you think getting away is going to be easier when you have a family, a mortgage, a career, and financial obligations, then now when you seem as free as a bird and are still young? Are you getting any younger? If you cant convince yourself to go now will you be able to convince yourself when you have all of these excuses against you?" After a long pause she asked the big one; "What are you waiting for?" "Hmmmm I guess for the fear to go away," I replied!

2) Then it came time to think about my visa that was going to expire. I knew that there weren't any University courses that I wanted to attend worth £9000 debt per annum, and despite my efforts I hadn't found a job in the arts willing to sponsor my work visa. I did not see the point in working for a large corporation just for a visa when what I really wanted was to start working toward my career in Theatre. So I booked a pilgrimage to NY (that post still to come). My intent was to see if I was ready to move home, as my options were CA, Colorado, or NY. The long and the short of the trip was that although I love my city, it didn't feel like home, in fact I was rather homesick the entire time, and I was only gone 6 days. So I am not welcome to stay here in Scotland legally for much longer, I don't want to continue my education, I have no career in the arts, and am not really sure where home is meant to be. Talk about being a little lost in life. However they say there is no better way to find your true home, then to leave the one you've got.

In all the thinking I have done over the last year with various living situations, dating situations, and occupations, while attending counseling, with a visa expiration looming, after the completion of a pilgrimage, I began to think about the kind of woman I want to be, and more importantly the kind of memories I want to have. At first I couldn't tell you, I honestly had no clue, so this quote kept haunting me; "Some times you have to get lost to find yourself." Then I began to narrow it down and envision this amazing woman full of confidence and interesting stories to tell. Well those kind of people aren't just born, they are carefully molded through life's experiences and their travels along the way. I began to realize that a heart full of fear wasn't very conducive to interesting life travels, and stories of exotic experiences.

3) Then I saw this movie Stardust, its a fairy tale about a star (also a woman) that falls from the heavens and her heart continues to fall. Essentially she falls madly in love with a very nice, very good looking man who doesn't know it yet but is actually a prince. A famous star, falls in love with a prince... hmmm.... sound like my kind of movie? It definitely is. However it seemed to be much more than just a good movie to me, it was inspiration.

I was sitting one day dreaming about my very own fairy tale and wondering at what point my prince is meant to enter. Then I began to question if it's really very healthy to continue to allow myself to delve into such childlike fantasies all the time, or if I'm wishing for things that don't exist.

So I decided to approach it logically. Do modern fairy tales actually exist? Well first one needs to define, what is a fairy tale specifically? Sure we have our romantic comedies, and Hollywood spins its magic over lots of true love stories, but what makes a fairy tale different. So I Googled! I was surprised that there have been many studies on fairy tales, including one by Mr Tolkien himself. In his essay on fairy tales he catalogues each re-occurring aspect and diagrams all the pieces that tend to make a complete story.

Well most of it isn't relevant, however a few re-occurring themes caught my eye; Magic seems to happen when the characters are most in need because they are full of despair, near danger, or a tragedy. The main characters always experience some type of travel away from home, or their comfort zone and often alone. Frequently they have to trust a stranger, or elicit help from someone along the way. People are not always what they seem, and trust seems to be blindly given with out prejudgment. In many of the fairy tales the character does not return to the same home they once left, or if they do they are usually changed or have grown in some dramatic way. And finally fairy tales are always blessed with unusually happiness especially in the endings.

**********************************************************************************
So essentially I thought maybe I should consider going on an adventure, traveling away from home, far out of my comfort zone, placing myself near danger, getting intentionally lost, learning to trust in the kindness of strangers, gaining friends in unlikely places, and growing or changing in some dramatic way. Perhaps then I will find myself, experience magic, discover what home means to me, become a confident woman full of crazy stories to tell, a heart full of love and trust rather than fear. Perhaps along the way I will meet a prince, or maybe I am destined to be the leading character in my own story, prince not required. (Think Alice in Wonderland)

Although it frightens me to death I have decided to travel Europe, all by myself. I am making preparations now, saving all my spare funds, and aim to depart in less than a year, for as long as I can afford to go.

Best Friends to Boyfriends

2009-03-05T13:24:00.007Z

The 1st photo is of this last Thanksgiving (Andrew is the one in my favorite blue shirt on the left.) The Second shot is us in our formal attire at a charity ball.

Andrew do you feel your ears burning???? That would because I have been singing around the house "wake up wake up my dear, its well past noon, the 1 O'Clock gun has gone off, breakfast long gone, and lunch will be soon, wake up wake up my dear, if you were here I would throw something at you, in the most caring and loving way. Tra La Tra LA" Or perhaps because I am typing a blog entry about you and now the whole Internet will know your still sleeping.

Hmmmm. Bless! What to do with a Boyfriend who is a night owl and really cant bring himself to see the light of dawn? Mostly we go on evening dates, mostly to the cinema with our fancy unlimited movie cards, so our dates are mostly free. Our relationship is definitely a jeans and t-shirt, casual, free, relaxed kind of environment. Id say its a "No Stress" arrangement, but I'm far to dramatic for that. He knows and accepts my high maintenance and maybe I can even venture to say he loves me for it, although its generally preferred after mid day.

So I know that many of you will be wondering who is this man that I am calling boyfriend? Andrew James Fleming, the full title I only use when he is in trouble although occasionally that can be substituted for Arse Monkey if the situation applies.

I met him working the summer before last on the tour buses. He was working on a management internship and was meant to be my boss for 6 weeks, although none of us listened to him, (come to think of it we don't listen to our regular boss either, hmmmm) I'm not really sure what possessed me to be so bold, as I'm normally very shy but I walked right up to him and said "I don't know you. Who are you, and what are you doing working on the Tours? Oh I'm sorry I'm Clarice by the way." I think I surprised him a little but what ever, it worked. We started talking, flirting and generally hit it off. I tried to give him my number and he refused, primarily because he was clueless to my flirtations, but I was again unusually persistent.

He liked musicals so I asked him to come see something with me at the Fringe Performance festival. Awwwww and that's how the 1st date was born, awkward and all. It was a terrible performance, I chatted incessantly about all the wrong things over dinner, and generally we were nervous. However we were nervous together and that's what counts.

Well things went on this way for 2 or 3 more dates, but it wasn't moving smoothly. I'm sure my enthusiastic, energetic, demanding, high maintenance self was overwhelming for the poor guy. However his laid back, non-responsive, casual, relaxed, if not slightly lazy attitude towards every thing was driving my anal-retentive side insane. So we agreed to be friends. Well that was an interesting learning experience. Despite efforts on both parts, we kept flirting, and finding ourselves in date like situations.

I have memories of road trips, camping weekends, Boxing day with his family, late night movies, and fudge Sundays at my place, many dinners for two, or movie dates. We have done interesting activities such as midnight walks through creepy graveyard's, and slightly inebriated swimming excursions in the large gold fountain in the Princess Street Gardens around 2 am in November. He tried to teach me to ski, and I nag him constantly about the little details he usually forgets. So although Andrew quickly became one of my closest friends we often had to explain ourselves to others, re-iterating constantly that "There was nothing GOING ON between us!!!!" Honestly and genuinely there wasn't. I dated a few other guys, Andrew flirted with many other women (flirting is one of his subconscious talents, that I'm working on helping him to make it a more conscious thought) We were very close, and loved to hang out, but tried very hard to keep the intimacy at bay so our friendship could survive.

It didn't work. One random night I had a cold, just finished putting Menthol vapor rub on my chest, a stuffy nose, and probably looked like death warmed over, and Andrew starts flirting with me again. Don't know if it was my weakened state, or his irresistible smile but I caved in big time. We both kind of ignored that night and let our friendship balance dangerously on the edge of romantic and platonic mutual affection.

This lasted about 3 weeks before I called him and demanded to talk, then confessed to having feelings for him. Dunnn Dunnn Dunnn! Oh dear, my best friend, what a scandal!!!!! Then despite the tiny sparkle of a smile appearing in his eyes, the annoying man asked me to take a weekend to sleep on it. "Just to be sure, we were risking a lot after all. " Well Andrew is the only person I know who could actually sleep for an entire weekend. I felt like it was 3 days of absolute hell, but I did as I was told and I thought long and hard.

I thought about how he makes me laugh, the way his smile melts me from inside, how we know each other so completely, the adventures we have had, the ones I still dream of exploring, and the arguments we have survived. Technically we only had 1 argument as a couple but countless screaming matches as friends. So it couldn't get any worse really. I guess in the end I felt that one should always give love a chance. (or as to not make any thing seem that serious or permanent "Strong liking" I believe that's the stupid contemporary term for a long term relationship that isn't serious. Although personally I think that's a ridiculous concept all together. How can any one not be serious about any thing long term? Perhaps its the drama queen in me but every thing I do is a serious pressing matter!!!)

So we have officially been an item for 2 months and 5 days now, (but who's counting).

Unemployed Confidence

2009-02-23T10:56:00.005Z

Hello every one. OK so its been a year since I've posted. Yea... OK... that's terrible. Well there is way to much to update you in one go, so I will give you the important ones. I have a new boyfriend, I'm going traveling all around Europe within a years time, and I'm very very happy with my life right now.

So What have I been doing recently? Not a lot, I'm unemployed. However I have been learning some interesting things about myself. 1) I have a great many skills that can be used in a variety of jobs. I am very skilled in office work, call center, sales, hospitality, drama, dance, and I just had an interview for an ABS crew man...(able bodied seaman) I would just love to put that on my CV. I am giving private tuition in both drama and dance and absolutely loving it. It doesn't pay my bills but it is fairly regular and counts for about 25% of my total income. I have been temping at all sorts of places for the last 4 weeks including BMW, and leaving every place I have been with a small whole they didn't know they had. I am looking forward to returning to my seasonal Tour guide job in March, and will be happy to be reunited with many of my friends there.

2) No matter what I do, I seem to make a lasting impression on the people whom I am working with. My students all adore me, and I feel very close to all of them. My workmates at the tours miss me desperately, and every temp assignment I have had mentioned a sorrow at the end of my contract. I have always been nice, and I would think generally sociable (if not a bit shy). I think I'm just finally learning to share it with people outside of the family and flatmate circle. So that is a very good sign. Something I have needed to learn since high school.

3) It doesn't matter to me what I grow up to be, or how much I make, so long as I'm working with people I love, doing a job that I adore, and leaving with a good reputation behind me. I have discovered that I don't have to sell myself as an office slave, or settle for the 9-5 because I can make it on my own doing what I love. Being unemployed in the middle of a recession for 6 weeks is not fun or easy, but I managed, and now know that I always will. Not only did I manage, but I am still doing what I love, working toward a career in the arts, and leaving every one I meet with a warm feeling at having gotten to know me.

This is a huge realisation for me because its about the confidence to be able to travel, go into the theater world, back to NY, or what and where ever I want, and knowing that I will be OK. I have a bag of tricks (as my drama teacher use to call it) and I'm learning how to use them.

Nothing is Decided!

2008-02-26T13:23:00.002Z

Hello every one. I had a brilliant holiday in NY, and I have also been accepted into at least 1 of my University courses that I applied to. (have not heard from others yet)

However I am not making any decisions brashly. I have this confident, calm feeling that the right choice is going to present itself to me when the decision is ready to be made, and no sooner. So I am considering all my options. Reflecting, attempting to meditate, and waiting, until I'm ready to choose (hopefully before Nov.)

I will say that so far Glasgow Uni has accepted me into a Joint Honours Masters degree in Theatre Production, and Film Studies (with a specialisation in Directing for film, and Stage).

I had the most amazing time in NY, and learned so much about the city, and myself that I have a lot of reflection to do. I am planning to do a big post all about it, but I have been pulling my hair out trying to figure out how to make the pictures go. So I guess thank you for your patience. I promise to get it up soon.

Tons of Love to you all!!!
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Happy Late Valentines!!!!!

2008-02-18T10:31:00.005Z

I decided this year I was taking Valentines back. There are many different forms of love and I dont see why Valentines should be reserved for the Romantic stuff. I drew a special love heart on my black board and decided I would play cupid for the day.

I made home made Valentines for all my friends, and I spend the day dropping off cheesy cards, and bundles of chocolate kisses. All the while wearing my skirt dotted with love hearts, and my love heart jewlery set.

I got some funny looks but I had a great day. Also included in that was a series of Valentines Txts sent out to my traditional distribution list.

The txts were as follows:

Roses are Red Violets are Blue
this is the 1st Valentines txt
from me to you!
Happy Valentines!!!! Xx Xx Xx

A naughty Limerick for Valentines:
There once was a pirate from Spain
Who liked dancing while drinking Champagne
He fell on his cutlass
Which made him nutless
And now from Wenching he must abstain

Why you are so important to me:
Around you I can be me, crazy and silly
I know you will laugh but wont think any less of me
If you look into my eyes I feel like you can see my soul
When we hang out my world becomes whole.
When I laugh, cry, or smile it can touch your soul
Every thing we do becomes a memory.
Thats why you are so important to me.

Well at the end of a brilliant holiday there is ony one important thing to say to you, who is so close to me. I love you, sleep well, and sweet dreams. Xx Xx Xx

***I did get a few lovely or interesting txts in return as well.

From my cheeky best mate David:
There was a wee Lassie, Clarice
Whoes Lymericks were utter pish.
I know she means well
But it's poetry fae hell.
So we'll all give you're poems a miss. ;) xx

Mom's was a touch sweeter:
Beloved daughter, when you were born I was amazed and thrilled that I 'd been given a daughter. You were my Septemeber Valentine and as precious as diamonds. Today you have reminded me how lucky I am to have you in my life. I love you. Madre XXXOOOXXX

All in all it was a lovely day!
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NYC Pilgrimage

2008-01-15T17:05:00.000Z

I knew I would need to find a home in case I had to move back to the states after my visa runs out. NY seemed like the most obvious option to most everyone who knows me, or has seen my room covered in NY art. However I left the city on rather bitter terms, and being that it holds so many memories of my ex I really wasn’t sure how I felt about the idea.

So I planned something spur of the moment ish and I am going on a week long holiday to the big apple to sort things out. Lucky for me my best friend from school Nick now lives there and will put me up so I can stay with him. I am nervous about this trip because, A) I have to fly alone, B) I don’t really know how to pick a fight with a city, and C) I’m not sure what I’m looking for.

One of my works mates asked me once if I was excited about my pilgrimage. I thought this was a bit extreme at the time and it made me nauseous just thinking about it. However she rationalised that a pilgrimage is a long journey made by an individual to a place that is considered sacred or special. “If Clarice was ever going to go to a place that held great meaning all by herself in search of answers or deeper understanding this trip would be it.”

So I guess I’m going on a pilgrimage, it took me a while to get use to the idea, but I am warming up to it, and it is providing me some sort of focus to prepare for the journey. Or so I thought any way. I Googled “pilgrimage” and came up with some definitions or typical elements that are associated with the word. Essentially it’s a trip or journey that begins and ends with God, designed to remove oneself from the worries or strife of every day life, heading to a specific place of meaning to seek answers, or pay homage to something. Based on that I came up with some questions relevant to my trip that might help give me focus so I didn’t feel like I was flying off in a random direction with no point or purpose.

However as you can see bellow I didn’t get very far with my answers. Best I can think is to take a dance class in the Bronx. So if you can help fill in any of the answers that would be cool.

Thanx…..

1)What is God to me?
Goodness, love, peace, serenity, strength, courage, putting others 1st.

2)Where would I go to look for God?
Nature, where people are, places that frighten me, places where there was need, places of beauty.

3)What is it to separate myself from daily concerns?
Meditation, relaxation, fulfilling all my required needs, lowering my expectations of what is actually a need, thinking of others.

4)What are my concerns?
Life’s path, confidence, monetary constraints, maintaining peace and order.

5)How do I separate myself from them?

6)Where is a place of meaning for me in NY?

7)What is its meaning?

8)How do I pay homage to that?

9)How do I travel in the presence of god?

The Trail

2008-01-15T14:53:00.000Z

Walking along this dirt path of life I alternate between dreaming of the interesting things I will see or people I will meet, and stopping to enjoy the flowers and lovely views along the way. Some times I have company with me, and occasionally I choose to walk alone. However I am coming up to a clearing with a massive cross roads according to my map (aka the stamp in my passport that says my visa will run out in Nov) I know there are great decisions I must make at this point in the trail, and I am dreading it, as I’m the only one who can make the choice. I know that my choice will affect my future journey and therefore the woman I become.

So to get others involved, hopefully make this less daunting, and encourage supportive company I am posting my thoughts on my blog for open discussion. I will however ask one thing of you… Please comment cautiously as I am STRESSIN, and it is hugely important to me to make a good choice. Most of you will know I am easily persuaded because I think so highly of your opinions, so be kind in your votes for my future.

To stay in Scotland:
I will need a new visa. I can go back to Uni, or find a job that will get my work visa. Getting a work visa is problematic at best, although I will send out lots of applications just in case I get lucky. Going back to Uni would cost me £1700 per year, but I can save that much working over the summer so no loan would be required. I would either be studying Theatre Production (aka directing for stage) or Film studies (aka directing for film). I did submit my application so we will see. If you wish to read my personal statement it is also on the blog.

I don’t necessarily believe in studying something just to get a visa, that would make it an expensive visa, but these are subjects I am interested in a bit. The big question is weather or not I feel I need more formal education, or weather or not I feel I have all the skills I need to pursue my career with out it? Or perhaps I should think to myself, if I had permanent right to remain, would I be going back to school or trying to start my career?

Going back to the States:
Would mean I have to move, but the bigger worry is where would I go? Do I have a place that I call home there? Would I be able to settle, and make a place for myself that I feel happy and comfortable in? I don’t just want to end up somewhere because I got kicked out of my home and had no where else to go. NY comes to mind, but I don’t know how I feel about that yet. For more info on NY, go see the NYC Pilgrimage post.

I could run off and ignore either option:
Backpacking across Europe is definitely my preferred option but when my 8 week tour is done I will have to return home again and I will need to know where that home is. So although this is the most fun of all the options, really it only delays my decisions rather than answers them for me.

Any ways, your thoughts are welcome!!!!!!

My Peronal Statement

2008-01-15T12:10:00.000Z

This is my sad attempt to write a personal statement for my Uni application. I haven't decided on any thing yet so don't panic. I just though it only cost £15 to apply so it doesn't hurt to open a door just in case. However I absolutely hate talking myself up, so the following is my best attempt to sell myself. I received comments saying it was too flowery (one I hear a lot about my writing), I got comments saying it was vague, other saying it was too proud, or not proud enough. Either way its done and sent so here it is...

There are many gifts I have been blessed with in my life, most of them in the form of knowledge and experience. The ones I find most helpful on a daily basis are a confident awareness that everyone deserves happiness, a knowledge that happiness is created not found and if you can find the pleasurable side of hard work, your successes will be many in number. However perhaps I should start from the beginning. My name is Clarice I am an American, full of enthusiasm, optimistic, and I have a slightly obsessive work ethic.

Starting from a young age I have been determined and goal oriented. Along with an unquenchable curiosity I have allowed myself to explore the world’s potential with great passion. Being granted by special petition to graduate a year early from secondary school with distinction I began my higher education in the performing arts. I travelled to New York City to begin my exploration of the centre of a great industry, and finally found my travels ending here in Edinburgh where I continued my career development with an HND in Musical Theatre achieving merits in the subject of dance for both years. This is when I discovered the abounding joy at waking up every day to something I love, and vowed no matter what I will pursue my dreams with relentless passion so that I may keep this sense of pride in my routine with me always.

In line with this personal goal I have continued my growth and education after graduation by taking dance classes in a variety of styles. Also I have started building the foundations of my career by choreographing a musical cabaret for a few of the students at Stevenson College. Currently I am preparing to teach an introductory course in Musical Theatre for the Adult Education Program funded by Edinburgh City Council. My highly organized skills have aided me greatly both in my education and employment. I have been able to maintain a high number of working hours in often more than one occupation simultaneously to fund my studies. Luckily I have been blessed with the ability to multitask, making the most of every situation or moment allowing me to continue with a rigorous schedule meeting the high goals I set for myself. Because of my cheery and optimistic personality I really enjoy working with others, and perform best in a team environment with goals or deadlines set before me. This is one of the many reasons I have chosen the arts as the direction of my career. I truly enjoy meeting new people and collaborating on projects, pulling together the strengths of each individual contributing to a common effort. I am aware of the competitive environment that one should be prepared for with a career in the arts. I thrive on challenges and take a great deal of personal pride in my achievements when I have accomplished a goal set before me weather personal or professional.

One of the wisest things I have learned to date is that the more I learn the more I am becoming aware of how much there is available to know. This is why I have decided to continue with my formal education in pursuit of a wider knowledge base to work with in my future career aspirations. I would like to thoroughly explore the aspects of visual and performing arts and their potential for amalgamation. I wish to gain a greater knowledge of the industry and the subtle idiosyncrasies that help distinguish those whom live for their work and those whom work for a living.

TxtATale #3

2008-01-15T11:16:00.001Z

TxtATale: (Please be patient) Once upon a time in a large castle seated on a great cliff there were servants rushing about in preparation for a great ball. A vast list of distinguished guests were expected to attend in all their finery. The host of this elaborate night was none other than Father time. He wanted to gather together all the great powers in hopes of persuading them to offer their gifts to the New Year so that 2008, would be a memorable one. You see father time was growing week and tired showing that soon he would need to retire and let his nephew Hickory take over. Hickory was brilliant at running all the worlds clocks and kept perfect time. Unfortunately he wasn’t very good in making the personal adjustments required when time needed bent a touch. He also kept himself very busy with his work and hardly took moments to enjoy for himself. So many doubted his abilities.Among those expected was Madam Prosperity, generally a cold and icy woman. Two of the 7 famous sisters, Freya Kypris of the Palace at Lust and Adephagia of Gluttony Shire. Nodens Silvanus was sure to come and please the ladies. His reputation falsely extended his power to heal to include the gift of restored youth and beauty.

However Father time didn’t realise that some of his guests had an agenda of their own this evening to gain more power and status. Except Lady Fortuna, shy and flighty she attended simply due to her crush on Hickory. Fortuna was afraid his consistent routines would detest the unpredictable life that she endured. When she was a young girl she would climb the tower to the chime room and listen to the cacophony of ringing that drowned out other noises. This is where she met Hickory. Sadly her luck was temperamental and one day she knocked over a tall clock that started a dreadful chain reaction and her mortification.

The ball started well with glimmering candles along the walls, sweeping dresses brushing the floors, and the echoes of laughter filled the arched stone ceilings. Nodens quickly agreed to give good health as his gift for the coming year. Prosperity also agreed to donate to the cause in some moderation. Freya had a different idea in mind for the evening. She spent her time trying to seduce the busy and distracted Hickory who kept checking his watch. Meanwhile her sister of Gluttony, who she called Adeph was plying Fortuna with cakes and sweets that were not very good for her. For you see Freya wanted to marry Hickory herself so she could use her feminine persuasion to convince him to slow down time giving way to passion and love. Nodens Silvanus was concerned how time would haunt the aged and infirm if it were slower. He mentioned this to prosperity whom seemed indifferent. While dancing with Nodens, Lady Fortuna mentioned her unrequited crush on the young nephew. He felt that it would be a brilliant chance to place a small Fortuna sized glitch in Freya’s plan. Sadly just as he was trying to engage Hickory in a manly conversation about women Fortuna slipped into a bowl of punch.

Hickory was a lovely gentleman and offered to lead the poor girl profusely blushing into a warm room in the castle with a blazing fire so she could dry a bit. Her luck had a turn for the worse or perhaps the better as she tripped on one of the stairs and fell clumsily into his arms. There was a moments breath before Hickory decided to enjoy the unusual place he found him self in by kissing the beautiful girl. At that moment time seemed to slow or even stop and suddenly he understood what it was for time to bend as needed. As soon as she was dry Hickory raced to tell his uncle. Freya was very unhappy to hear about how the young nephew had learned this important life lesson. She began to throw a fit cursing all the guests in attendance. When the two sisters stormed out of the ball the others made it a New Years Resolution to give up bad habits like sweats or ill fated love.

Time and Luck were married living an unpredictable but passionate existence. They lived happily ever after. The End!!!

May the coming year bring you health, prosperity, luck, love, strength in your resolutions, and unpredictable adventure!!!!

Yikes!!! Clarice with a hang over!

2008-01-15T09:56:00.000Z

This is a random but entertaining story about my wild night out, on a work night none the less....

Uhg!!! I think I have the 1st hang over of my life today. Its all Fiona's fault. Was just sitting at my desk very innocent like and she said at half 7 "Oh I'm going out strait from work in 30 min to the pub. Come and have a drink with me?"

I tried to throw every excuse I could at her. I was tired, had been working for 11 hours. I had a million things to do at home, I hate social situations, I hadn't eaten any thing but a small bag of pretzels all day, I wont know any one, I wasn't dressed for it, I work at 9am the next day, I'm skint, and I really needed to wash my hair (I wasn't kidding I really did)

Then she said "Look Clarice, I love you, but you can go home with your well balanced meal, clean hair, organized underwear drawer, and shopping list all done. Or you can come out with your best friend and meet new amazing people who may also be good friends some day. When you are old and telling stories to your grandkids what do you want to look back on?"

I tried to protest that one couldn't just party their whole life, responsibilities are some times necessary. So she asked me what on my list couldn't be skipped or done after I got home, or in the morning. What about going for one drink was going to make me a wild party animal living on the edge.

So I decided to go for 1. Got a portion of chips on the way, so I now had pretzels and chips under my belt to ward off the ONE drink I was planning on. Turns out the pub was way out in Leith by the shore. A rather swanky pub, and full of mature proper adults 24 years and older. Talking about important things like, politics, arts, culture, passion, careers, and family matters. There wasn't a shy, or un-interesting one in the bunch. The fact that there must have been about 20 or so people frightened me, but the 4 drinks I had helped wash that away. I don't generally believe in drinking away your fears, but I can say I was cleverly distracted by the sparkling conversations, that I hadn't noticed people kept buying me drinks, so it was an accident of sorts.

I was obviously being a bit more irresponsible than I had intended but it was fun. I had a geography lesson, heard about travels across the globe far and wide, talked about Contemporary dancing with a lovely man from the Czech Republic, and then went outside for a brilliant photography lesson with the nicest digital camera and a truly lovely man from Poland as well. The lesson was all about playing with light, and very cool special effects that you can do with the new digital cameras. The group that dwindled down to the end, was a group of 8, all from different countries. Represented was the brilliant and witty USA, the charming Ireland, the well mannered Scotland, the friendly India, the passionate Poland, the enthusiastic Czech, the sarcastic Aussi, and a laid back New Zealand. Well the famous number 1 turned out to be 1 O'clock, not 1 drink. The pub closed and I was feeling thoroughly pleased with a lovely night.

Then someone said the magic word.... The curse of my life.... "do you guys want to go Dancing?!?!?"

Nooooooo!!!! I put my fingers in my ears, and started to sing. La la la la! I couldn't hear them I wasn't going. But alas I failed, one of them found my Achilles heel. El Barrio salsa dancing!!!!! Dun Dun Duuuuunnnn!

So one actually turned into 3. Had it been 3 drinks not 3 O'clock I probably wouldn't be feeling so ill. Had it been 3 O'clock but no drinking I would be sleepy but fine. However I have learned two very important things about Eastern Europeans they can not only hold a good rhythm, but they can hold one hell of a lot of drink too. There was plenty of partners to go around, some of the best social dancing of my life, and a very caring and affectionate group of people. So I had a late and naughty night dancing drinking and learning to speak Czech.

Now I am at work wishing my computer would blow up so they would have to send me home, blessing the nectar of life called the 'Bacon Roll' and counting down the hours till bed time.

Ah well, I wouldn't trade it for the world.

=)

Philosophy Ramblings

2008-01-15T09:44:00.000Z

Ok. This is truly bizarre. I have no idea why I wrote it, what its for, or really how long I have had it. But as I so rarely write about philosophical things I thought I would post it for amusement of others, or bemusement as the case may be.....

Imagine a moving swirling energy blob. Something like a water balloon. If one side gets pushed in the other side stretches out and the water will adjust to sit level. Water compensates to its container.

Ever seen that add were someone does something stupid on one side of the world so on the other side a smart person gets insurance or something to balance it out. One thing goes on one side of the world and on the other side an opposite reaction so the energy (water in the balloon) cal balance and level out.

Imagine that there is a super mathematical pattern where if everything was doing a precise thing at a precise time and place the world could be at a balance. If for every good deed there was a bad one, for every person sleeping there was one waking up. A split second in time were if all the numbers/ pieces of the puzzle were in the equation in their rightful places the world would balance out.

Have you ever tried that game where a group of people stand in a circle and all carefully and slowly sit aiming for the lap of the person behind them. Even if you have a huge fat man in front of a smallish girl if the trick is done right the weight evens out almost instantaneously so you can all rest in a state of balance.

Could this be done with the world?

Is there any one thing that every thing is comprised of? Atoms? Or Energy? Is it possible that there is something else we all share that could be our connection to the energy blob?

Imagine if that’s our connection to the balance. If I am sleeping and dreaming of pleasant things I could be spiritually charged positive to allow a connection with a greater amount of energy, and if somewhere else a person was awake and living in a nightmare they could be negatively charged expelling energy only maintaining the bare minimum to have motor functions. But what if while I was sleeping I was missing the alarm causing a negative effect, while a third person just completed an application for social work and may be someday the person who will help another out of their living nightmare? It could all balance.

Time could be an issue, with things constantly changing one minute I could have tons of energy the next I could wake up realising that I’ve slept through the 1st hour of work and it could all fluctuate. If you are gently wobbling a water balloon from one hand to the next, or letting it rest on a table and poking it in different places will there ever be a point in the constant movement of the water when it balances out?
Maybe time could freeze, or the world would stop if this balance ever happened. Maybe its perpetual changing is the process to find a balance, the reason for continuing.

If a simultaneous balance could not be found could you say that over a period of 10 years every person/ living thing/ or even every single thing living or not would have had an equal amount of energy pass through them/ it. That the good and the bad in the world would actually balance out for every thing in a certain period of time if not all at the same time?

Maybe we are already here. How would we know? What if the world has been fluctuating through balance and each person’s life evens out with another all along?

It is a theory that is not uncommon to man… What goes around comes around… Karma… Yin/Yang

Trouble is:

In order to have a balance one needs a defined weight? Take scales for example an exact equal weight has to be on each side and that weight is measurable. Who decides that weight? Is there a higher power? Is it just balance itself? Is there a living thing in the energy/water balloon? Does it work to balance itself? Could we force it out of balance either accidentally or wilfully by going against our design or our ‘meant to be’? (By intentionally misplacing a piece of the equation?) Is there a large force that would correct the imbalance some where later in life? Ex: a big buss could run a murderer over?

Can every thing have a balance? Or an opposite reaction?

TxtATale #2

2008-01-15T09:35:00.000Z

TxtATale: Once upon a time before the world had animals or people there were 3 essences. Theodore, a slow patient spirit in charge of though. Imogen, mischievous, playful, and alluring, in charge of imagination. And finally the mostly dignified yet strangely expressive Emma, in charge of emotions. Imogen could create millions of things in the time her beautifully long lashes would flutter when she was pretending to be coy, but it was Emma who gave her creations depth and sensation. Theodore was the practical one, solving disputes, giving the ladies work meaning and maintaining strength via reason. Theodore and Emma spent a great deal of time together. An ancient friendship fitting together like a leaf in the wind. They worked out the perfect balance to keep adrift their company in perfect flight and yet not send it blustering off in a frenzy. Emma would listen to Theodore talk endlessly about the world and all that it encompassed as she would express the feelings evoked by those thoughts Theodore would watch as if it were an unobtainable movie. Imogen would often get jealous of the balanced exchange those two shared and the deep rooted friendship it inspired. She didn’t feel half as flighty as they perceived her to be. She would create images or objects simply for the sake of destroying them again because she could.

After careful thought Imogen decided to create something so perfect and beautiful that Theodore and Emma would have to see the value in it. They would beg her to leave in the world for all time. Obviously it would take careful focus of her imagination to create something worthy of the world’s eternity. Emma and Theodore grew curious as Imogen had hardly any attention span and they couldn’t for a minute imagine what she would be working so hard on. When it was finished she called a meeting of the essences for all to judge. It was a beautiful scene that made Emma cry sadly and in turn Theodore displeased. There were tall pine trees dressed in a light powdery snow, a pond frozen over with an icy silver surface, and delicate snow flakes dancing and twirling in the wind as they fell. The sun was shining and Imogen called it winter. Emma thought it was cold and depressing. Nothing would grow or prosper here. Imogen sent them out to make improvements. She was not going to give up easily. She decorated every tree with tiny twinkling, lights, and red berries. A small village full of happy elves with small pointy ears was put in the centre. Wrapped packages were placed on every surface for colour, and sugar plum fairies danced to carols sung by the elves. Imogen lost her focus a bit because when she sat back to observe her work she noticed lights across every home and above the streets not to mention the flying reindeer. “It would be hard not to love this” she said and called the other two in.

Emma immediately took too the improvements, expressing an odd sort of joy filled with curiosity, and anticipation. She wanted to open every package in the entire place. Imogen hadn’t thought to actually fill the packages with things; however she was luckily very quick to imagine all sorts of goodies for Emma to enjoy. Theodore was a touch jealous, and criticised this place as having no meaning or purpose. Emma turned to him sitting in a pile of torn paper and boxes “Can we please give this place to the people?” “I don’t think this is a good idea, Emma” Theodore replied in his best voice of reason. “but think of all the smiling children in the world” Emma retorted. “your not thinking your feeling, if you were thinking you would be thinking about the orphans in the world with no parents or family, the poor homeless with no home or heating, if you were thinking you would see why this was a bad idea.” Imogene took this terribly and her lovely creation began to fade away. “Perhaps if we all worked together we could create something to give to the people that would help them create this themselves. Perhaps something with a bit of thought, love, happiness, and creativity.” Emma said to console her. “Can we call it a spirit like us?” Imogen asked “The Spirit of Christmas!” Thoedore said with a smile. Imogen could see an image years in the future of people ringing bells on every street corner to collect for the poor, she could hear the sound of thousands of children laughing, and squealing with joy as they tear open their packages, and she could smell the massive banquette being cooked for homeless shelters across the globe to feed the hungry. Thus the spirit of Christmas was born. Imogen waited patiently every year for the joy of Christmas to come around. Merry Christmas!

Txt A Tale: #1

2008-01-11T16:52:00.000Z

The following are fairy tales I make up on the spot and send via txt message to friends or such who may be in need of entertainment or cheering up. You will see them periodically posted in numerical order as they come. Please note that they have been typed verbatim with no editing, so many of the stories will seem raw or primitive. The magic is in the fact that I create them on the spot and delete them again so they are not meant to be kept or treasured but rather fleeting moments of joy...

Once upon a time in a far off enchanted wood there was a tiny Fairy who had the power to put little children to sleep with her dancing. Espidella was so graceful and delicate that even the most stubborn little ones would become enchanted by her movement and fall fast asleep.

Then one day an evil Queen caught the fairy so she could use her to catch and keep little girls asleep. Then when they were sleeping she would catch their breath in a decorated glass bottle, this was the secret ingredient in her youth potion that kept the queen so young and beautiful. The poor little fairy was made to dance constantly and she was growing weary herself. The Queen threatened to rip off her tender little wings if she stopped for even a second. A young tree Sprite heard of this delicate treasure and her imprisonment. He gathered his closest friends and they set off. Just one brave tree Sprite two goofy sidekicks and a drunken squirrel for a steed, the prospects for success did not look good. The evil Queen was growing younger and younger every day. When the gentlemen arrived to rescue the poor fairy they discovered the power of the children’s breath. When the Queen went to bed the tree Sprites snuck in several brave children from the local village and had them all breath heavily into the glass bottle for a long time, they all hid and the next morning when the queen, made her brew and drank her breakfast the youth potion worked so well she turned into a child herself. The little Fairy gave one final flourish on her dance and the Queen went right to sleep. They tied her up and took flight. The poor little Fairy slept the entire way home in the arms of her rescuer. To thank him her father the Fairy king gave him a magic bell that would bring him directly to their dwelling if he rang it softly. Of course he never intended for it to be used in secret in the dead of the night but that’s the brave youth for you. The end.