I knew I would need to find a home in case I had to move back to the states after my visa runs out. NY seemed like the most obvious option to most everyone who knows me, or has seen my room covered in NY art. However I left the city on rather bitter terms, and being that it holds so many memories of my ex I really wasn’t sure how I felt about the idea.
So I planned something spur of the moment ish and I am going on a week long holiday to the big apple to sort things out. Lucky for me my best friend from school Nick now lives there and will put me up so I can stay with him. I am nervous about this trip because, A) I have to fly alone, B) I don’t really know how to pick a fight with a city, and C) I’m not sure what I’m looking for.
One of my works mates asked me once if I was excited about my pilgrimage. I thought this was a bit extreme at the time and it made me nauseous just thinking about it. However she rationalised that a pilgrimage is a long journey made by an individual to a place that is considered sacred or special. “If Clarice was ever going to go to a place that held great meaning all by herself in search of answers or deeper understanding this trip would be it.”
So I guess I’m going on a pilgrimage, it took me a while to get use to the idea, but I am warming up to it, and it is providing me some sort of focus to prepare for the journey. Or so I thought any way. I Googled “pilgrimage” and came up with some definitions or typical elements that are associated with the word. Essentially it’s a trip or journey that begins and ends with God, designed to remove oneself from the worries or strife of every day life, heading to a specific place of meaning to seek answers, or pay homage to something. Based on that I came up with some questions relevant to my trip that might help give me focus so I didn’t feel like I was flying off in a random direction with no point or purpose.
However as you can see bellow I didn’t get very far with my answers. Best I can think is to take a dance class in the Bronx. So if you can help fill in any of the answers that would be cool.
Thanx…..
1)What is God to me?
Goodness, love, peace, serenity, strength, courage, putting others 1st.
2)Where would I go to look for God?
Nature, where people are, places that frighten me, places where there was need, places of beauty.
So I planned something spur of the moment ish and I am going on a week long holiday to the big apple to sort things out. Lucky for me my best friend from school Nick now lives there and will put me up so I can stay with him. I am nervous about this trip because, A) I have to fly alone, B) I don’t really know how to pick a fight with a city, and C) I’m not sure what I’m looking for.
One of my works mates asked me once if I was excited about my pilgrimage. I thought this was a bit extreme at the time and it made me nauseous just thinking about it. However she rationalised that a pilgrimage is a long journey made by an individual to a place that is considered sacred or special. “If Clarice was ever going to go to a place that held great meaning all by herself in search of answers or deeper understanding this trip would be it.”
So I guess I’m going on a pilgrimage, it took me a while to get use to the idea, but I am warming up to it, and it is providing me some sort of focus to prepare for the journey. Or so I thought any way. I Googled “pilgrimage” and came up with some definitions or typical elements that are associated with the word. Essentially it’s a trip or journey that begins and ends with God, designed to remove oneself from the worries or strife of every day life, heading to a specific place of meaning to seek answers, or pay homage to something. Based on that I came up with some questions relevant to my trip that might help give me focus so I didn’t feel like I was flying off in a random direction with no point or purpose.
However as you can see bellow I didn’t get very far with my answers. Best I can think is to take a dance class in the Bronx. So if you can help fill in any of the answers that would be cool.
Thanx…..
1)What is God to me?
Goodness, love, peace, serenity, strength, courage, putting others 1st.
2)Where would I go to look for God?
Nature, where people are, places that frighten me, places where there was need, places of beauty.
3)What is it to separate myself from daily concerns?
Meditation, relaxation, fulfilling all my required needs, lowering my expectations of what is actually a need, thinking of others.
4)What are my concerns?
Life’s path, confidence, monetary constraints, maintaining peace and order.
5)How do I separate myself from them?
6)Where is a place of meaning for me in NY?
7)What is its meaning?
8)How do I pay homage to that?
9)How do I travel in the presence of god?
7 comments:
Hey, my lovely cousin :) I love you and miss you and I'm so glad you've joined the blogosphere. Best wishes on your pilgrimage.
Pilgrimages are awesome. I want to do one on foot someday, oldschool. Maybe to the shrine of St. John of the Cross. I think I could do that walk.
You should read 'The Pilgrimage' by Paulo Coelho.
Ideas to consider:
5) Go to a place/do something where to feel no self-consciousness. Dance (in a private room if need be), meditate, read poetry that won't remind you of your concerns (like poetry about nature), do something repetitive/physical but thoughtful to keep your brain busy (like coloring, painting, legos, etc). Think about what you enjoy when _nothing_ is niggling you to be done.
6) Where you used to live? Broadway (where you aspired to work)? A place you enjoyed spending time (museum, park)? A place you remember wishing you could help people, or where someone helped you.
7) A time (started) full of hope? So much is possible? The thriving diversity (think of the stories you collected and shared about your neighborhood butcher and more)? Where one can be lost or noticed based completely upon self-motivation?
8) Soak it in a bit, observe? Maybe visit old places and let the ghosts talk to you? Feel the heartbeat of the city and choreograph a dance to it? Let the city stimulate all five senses: Hear the traffic/people/birds/air, taste the food and chill wind, touch a statue and building and tree, smell the apartments/museums/streets, and see how people move and the lights.
9) Give everyone the benefit of the doubt; like put yourself in their shoes. When you're scared ask god for a hand in keeping your courage up. Don't try to MAKE the experience good or bad, ask god to show you what you need to see.
These are just some of my ideas dear, I hope something helps out :)
Miss you!
I guess I hadn't thought of this trip as a pilgrimage either - but it fits.
Some things to remember as you:
1 - prepare for your trip
2 - take your trip
3 - think about your trip afterwards
4 - ...
Life will always have questions. The greatest thinkers of the world still ponder(ed) questions.
This trip won't necessarily have all the answers, and it may raise more questions (probably)... but if it ends up pointing a direction then so much the better.
As I said this morning baby... just find some time to clear your mind... then wander and let the city talk to you. If it is time to leave behind your childish dreams then you will know... if the city still makes your heart pound then perhaps it is time to re-enter the city as an adult. I think you'll know that there.
Good words.
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